And I'm being 100% literal. I woke up this morning ready for a normal day - hopped in the shower; and BAM! Immediate pain in my neck - not even sure what it was. Maybe raising my arm and turning my head a certain way. Who knows. But the entire day has been spent slowly turning my head trying ot stretch out and push thru the pain.
I even went to see a chiropractor - which I normally do not have a problem with. I've seen chiropractors previously ( I have a tendency to hurt my lower back) and had no problems. But today I saw a different doctor, walked in, filled out my paperwork, sat down in the chair, he felt my neck, had me turn my head left to right - and crack crack crack; one more go around with turning my head - and crack crack crack. To be honest, it sort of caught me off guard. So much so it got me a bit choked up. Though the cracking ultimately felt good - I didn't really feel all that much better. I finished up some other items at work and then have spent the remainder of my day on my couch, icing and trying to relax.
This all comes at an awful time in my opinion -- I'm supposed to fly out tomorrow morning and spend the weekend with my brother driving home from San Diego. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll be feeling better because Lord knows I want to!
On a side note -- I'm on the hunt for some good wedding blogs. Yes yes I know -- I'm already married. But I just love all those details surrounding a wedding. It is so fun to pull all those seemingly unconnected pieces together to create a larger picture that truly expresses the personalities & love of a couple. So here I go on my search!
Hope you have a GREAT weekend! I'll try & snap some good photos from this weekend with Allan to share!
<3
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Be Sure To Thank A Veteran
The time has almost arrived for me to head to San Diego to pick up the little brother from
Naval Hospital Camp Pendleton
This is the building where my brother has been serving our country by caring for other military service men & women for the last 2 years. We'll be driving back home Sunday where he'll get about a week & a half of leave. After that he & my mom are headed back out on the open road - with Norfolk, Virginia as their final destination.
Allan (aka Alli-babah) received his orders about a month ago to report for duty aboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt CVN 71.
I am proud of my little brother for his voluntary service to our nation. He is such a noble, humble young man.
And for that matter - I'm incredibly grateful for my parents, who also both served this nation voluntarily - my dad specifically, who served in & during Vietnam, and also during the first Gulf War. My father served as a Chief Warrant Officer 4 in the United States Marine Corps, handling the electrical for many jets, helicopters, etc. My mom served as a Gunnery Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps as a dispersing clerk. They both served and loved the military and how it changed/shaped their lives. Both my mom & my dad are proud of their service and love the Marine Corps and our nation more than words.
Their decisions to join and serve our nation have drastically impacted myself & my little brother - we are both so proud of parents and often don't even have the right words to express our gratitude to them for all that they did and continue to do.
Don't forget to thank a veteran and any active duty soldier you know or encounter! They have sacrificed much for the freedoms we enjoy and often take for granted. Whatever your opinion - they make a choice and make a difference, and for that - deserve our respect.
So say shake a hand, look them in the eye (they'll appreciate it), and sincerely thank them for all they have done.
<3
Naval Hospital Camp Pendleton
Allan (aka Alli-babah) received his orders about a month ago to report for duty aboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt CVN 71.
And for that matter - I'm incredibly grateful for my parents, who also both served this nation voluntarily - my dad specifically, who served in & during Vietnam, and also during the first Gulf War. My father served as a Chief Warrant Officer 4 in the United States Marine Corps, handling the electrical for many jets, helicopters, etc. My mom served as a Gunnery Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps as a dispersing clerk. They both served and loved the military and how it changed/shaped their lives. Both my mom & my dad are proud of their service and love the Marine Corps and our nation more than words.
Their decisions to join and serve our nation have drastically impacted myself & my little brother - we are both so proud of parents and often don't even have the right words to express our gratitude to them for all that they did and continue to do.
Don't forget to thank a veteran and any active duty soldier you know or encounter! They have sacrificed much for the freedoms we enjoy and often take for granted. Whatever your opinion - they make a choice and make a difference, and for that - deserve our respect.
So say shake a hand, look them in the eye (they'll appreciate it), and sincerely thank them for all they have done.
<3
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Hunger
I hate this feeling - I'm hungry but nothing sounds any good... As if nothing will hit the spot...
Hmm...suggestions?
<3
Hmm...suggestions?
<3
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Whirlwind
Today has just been a crazy - hectic - full day. From beginning to end it has been non-stop. Started off by rushing around to get an addendum signed, to get a file updated, so that I could get at preliminary HUD submitted to a bank for final approval & clear to close with wire instructions for my escrow officer. PHEW! I realize that probably didn't make a whole lot of sense to anyone outside the real estate world... but that was just the start to my day!
I am so looking forward to going home early (running has been canceled tonight -- my best bud Mo's grandfather passed away yesterday & they are making plans to head south to CA, please think of, pray for, & send good thoughts to her) and getting some much needed laundry washed, dried, folded, & put away! I may even open a bottle of wine to get through the ordeal.
3 more days and I'm off to San Diego to meet up with the little brother. We're going to be driving home from his current duty station at Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Base. For those of you who don't know, my awesome younger brother is an E-4 Corpsman with the United States Navy. I'm super proud of him -- not just for his service, but for the man that he is becoming. God is doing a good thing in him and it is so fun to see how all the pieces are coming together!
Here's a pic of the two of us from his boot camp graduation
Hope everyone has an enjoyable evening too!
<3
Monday, May 24, 2010
The Parker Celebrity Crushes
That's right -- Isaac & I have an understanding about our mutual celebrity crushes.
I have a soft spot for Gerard Butler...
Particularly in "P.S. I Love You" - I think it's primarily that accent (I LOOOOVE listening to Isaac break out his pidgin accent when we're in Hawaii - I think I just have a love of accents).
For the hubby... it's Miranda Lambert
The man has a love of country music & line dancing. It's so funny because whenever her "Cotton" commercial comes on he stops whatever he's doing.
Haha - love my husband, he gives in to me when a new Gerard Butler movie comes out and goes with me to see it. So I return the favor by letting him blast Miranda's music whenever he likes. But here's the key... it goes no further than appreciation. More of a joke than anything else between the two of us.
Hmmm....wonder when Gerard will be coming out with a new movie?? I wasn't too fond of his latest with Jennifer Aniston (two thumbs down).
<3
I have a soft spot for Gerard Butler...
For the hubby... it's Miranda Lambert
Haha - love my husband, he gives in to me when a new Gerard Butler movie comes out and goes with me to see it. So I return the favor by letting him blast Miranda's music whenever he likes. But here's the key... it goes no further than appreciation. More of a joke than anything else between the two of us.
Hmmm....wonder when Gerard will be coming out with a new movie?? I wasn't too fond of his latest with Jennifer Aniston (two thumbs down).
<3
Sunday, May 23, 2010
A Day of Nothing
Yesterday was one of those days where I stayed in my pj's all day & just relaxed. I know that might sound a bit odd to stay in your pajama's all day; but I needed it. I needed a day where I had no commitments - no expectations to live up to. It was glorious.
And my studly husband has gotten the first set of posts up for our pergola. What a blessing to be married to such a handy man. And not only is he handy... but he is incredibly creative as well. There are about 5 walls in my home that are graced with his artwork. And he is absolutely musically inclined - blessed with a keen ear, a sweet & tender voice, and the ability to pick up virtually any instrument & play. He's recently been playing back up guitar in the worship band at church. But today...today he led worship and it was so sweet. We sang songs that I normally am not a huge fan of - but with a sweet turn on them they sounded new - refreshed. I don't say that simply because he is my husband - but because it is true. After the service we were stopped about every 15 feet by people, young & old thanking Isaac for playing and telling him how much they enjoyed his playing.
That's something Isaac has a hard time taking - He and I have had so many conversations about why he has such a hard time taking a compliment from someone about something he does. Particularly when it comes to his music. He is incredibly gifted and it has really only been until recent that he has started to be comfortable with the compliments and be gracious in receiving them.
I love being married to Isaac -- I love learning new things about him every day.
Life is good :)
<3
And my studly husband has gotten the first set of posts up for our pergola. What a blessing to be married to such a handy man. And not only is he handy... but he is incredibly creative as well. There are about 5 walls in my home that are graced with his artwork. And he is absolutely musically inclined - blessed with a keen ear, a sweet & tender voice, and the ability to pick up virtually any instrument & play. He's recently been playing back up guitar in the worship band at church. But today...today he led worship and it was so sweet. We sang songs that I normally am not a huge fan of - but with a sweet turn on them they sounded new - refreshed. I don't say that simply because he is my husband - but because it is true. After the service we were stopped about every 15 feet by people, young & old thanking Isaac for playing and telling him how much they enjoyed his playing.
That's something Isaac has a hard time taking - He and I have had so many conversations about why he has such a hard time taking a compliment from someone about something he does. Particularly when it comes to his music. He is incredibly gifted and it has really only been until recent that he has started to be comfortable with the compliments and be gracious in receiving them.
I love being married to Isaac -- I love learning new things about him every day.
Life is good :)
<3
Friday, May 21, 2010
Rain In May... Oh Oregon
I'm typing this sitting at my desk at work - likely one of about 6 people left in the entire building on a Friday afternoon. Normally that would be due to the bright sun beckoning everyone out to play. But today (and the last week & the next week likely) I think it's because every one is at home wrapped up in a cozy blanket, a warm drink in hand, relaxing on a comfy couch. It feels more like early February than the end of May.
High school baseball & softball playoff games have been canceled -- the local Keizer Iris Festival Tent is obviously more than damp -- and people around town are wearing their rain jackets rather than capris, shorts, or skirts.
For most people this would be outrageous weather - particularly for May. And while I can agree a bit that it might be a bit much for this time of year; I am more inclined to be thankful for the rain. I'm a fan of the cooler weather (not freezing though mind you) and a good ol' wind storm from time to time. So I say... be thankful for it while it lasts! Because once that Oregon summer heat makes its appearance, more people will be yearning for this weather!
Soak it in folks.... Soak it in!
<3
High school baseball & softball playoff games have been canceled -- the local Keizer Iris Festival Tent is obviously more than damp -- and people around town are wearing their rain jackets rather than capris, shorts, or skirts.
For most people this would be outrageous weather - particularly for May. And while I can agree a bit that it might be a bit much for this time of year; I am more inclined to be thankful for the rain. I'm a fan of the cooler weather (not freezing though mind you) and a good ol' wind storm from time to time. So I say... be thankful for it while it lasts! Because once that Oregon summer heat makes its appearance, more people will be yearning for this weather!
Soak it in folks.... Soak it in!
<3
What Is This Nonsense?!
It's nearly the end of May - and I feel like someone has punched me in the face & gut - and has run over my entire body with a car.
Sickness....really?! I mean really...it's almost SUMMER! Why am I getting sick?! I take my vitamins, I've been drinking copious amounts of water every day, I'm exercising, I'm getting plenty of hours of sleep...this is bologna! (side note...who came up with the spelling of bologna - so odd)
Ugh...perhaps I'll head home early here...
<3
Sickness....really?! I mean really...it's almost SUMMER! Why am I getting sick?! I take my vitamins, I've been drinking copious amounts of water every day, I'm exercising, I'm getting plenty of hours of sleep...this is bologna! (side note...who came up with the spelling of bologna - so odd)
Ugh...perhaps I'll head home early here...
<3
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Pet Peeve of the Moment
I absolutely HATE being on hold - it is the worst way to spend my time. There is nothing worse (obviously I know there are worse events in life) than wasting X amount of time on the phone listening to lame elevator type music. Then its amplified in its sucky-ness when an overly energetic woman comes on the line... Bah-hum bug is all I say to that.
Oh well...
Made it to 5:15am Group Power this am...it was a little easier than I thought it would be. Once I was up & dressed and in my car, I was awake and ready to go! But boy oh boy - I am out of shape! Group Power was pretty dang hard this morning. That won't deter me though... I'll be back Monday morning!
<3
ps...SUPER annoying & frustrating when you get a short sale approval in TWO WEEKS for a buyer, and then they back out.... gah! Lord where are you in this??
Oh well...
Made it to 5:15am Group Power this am...it was a little easier than I thought it would be. Once I was up & dressed and in my car, I was awake and ready to go! But boy oh boy - I am out of shape! Group Power was pretty dang hard this morning. That won't deter me though... I'll be back Monday morning!
<3
ps...SUPER annoying & frustrating when you get a short sale approval in TWO WEEKS for a buyer, and then they back out.... gah! Lord where are you in this??
Monday, May 17, 2010
Upcoming Hobby
As I mentioned earlier - my wonderful hubby Isaac is re-doing our backyard. And I'm pretty excited to enjoy it this summer. Sitting on the deck, eating dinner, entertaining, and.... gardening! Who would have thought...me, a burgeoning gardener. I never thought it myself - but for some reason I'm actually looking forward to it.
I'm not sure what veggies, if any, we'll be able to plan that late in the season (Isaac is hoping to have the backyard done by the end of June) but we'll see. Maybe this year is just about getting it set up and ready. Then next year we start the growing! So while he does the heavy lifting for the time being - I'm going to start doing my research about what our options are... Have to figure out veggies and/or flowers that love the sun. Isaac is fitting in a planter box on the east side of our yard - so it gets a lot of sun through out the day. We'll see what comes out!
Let the studying begin!! :)
Oh yeah... and the gardening!!
<3
I'm not sure what veggies, if any, we'll be able to plan that late in the season (Isaac is hoping to have the backyard done by the end of June) but we'll see. Maybe this year is just about getting it set up and ready. Then next year we start the growing! So while he does the heavy lifting for the time being - I'm going to start doing my research about what our options are... Have to figure out veggies and/or flowers that love the sun. Isaac is fitting in a planter box on the east side of our yard - so it gets a lot of sun through out the day. We'll see what comes out!
Let the studying begin!! :)
<3
Yard Project
My wonderful handy hubby is working on transforming our backyard. It's at the point where I'm not much help, he had to fix the fence...re-do the UG sprinklers....re-sand & re-paint our fire pit, etc. But soon, There will be projects I can be more involved in. He's even going to build a beautiful pergola for our deck.
I'm looking forward to a "new" backyard - it'll be so fun to be able to sit back there & relax together and enjoy the Oregon summer.
Question though -- our 1 year anniversary is around the corner (CRAZZZZY!) and we're trying to think of something to do that is special but cost effective. Any recommendations out there??
Back to work I go!
<3
I'm looking forward to a "new" backyard - it'll be so fun to be able to sit back there & relax together and enjoy the Oregon summer.
Question though -- our 1 year anniversary is around the corner (CRAZZZZY!) and we're trying to think of something to do that is special but cost effective. Any recommendations out there??
Back to work I go!
<3
Friday, May 14, 2010
Fill In The Blank Friday!
1. The best part about the summer is... Long, warm days...shenanigans that can last well in to the evening
2. My first crush ever was... Jordan in kindergarten. Lollipop Tree was a small school - but he was the cutest boy in the whole place. He was even cute all the way thru high school - unfortunately his personality didn't match...
3. This may sound really silly by... In the summer time at BBQ's I really like dipping tomatos and those Ruffle potato chips in ketchup... It's just soo good. The chip/ketchup combo tastes EXACTLY like french fries!
4. I squeeze the toothpaste from... the bottom, have to make it last! It's surprising how expensive toothpaste has gotten!
5. My absolute favorite "comfort food" is... Potato soup from Galway Bay in Ocean Shores, WA. It's this awesome Irish pub hidden in the back of a small little "strip mall" but it seriously has the best soup ever. And their beer battered onion rings rock too! The soup is made from scratch every day, and they always have live music every weekend
6. A random fact about me is... I used to want to be a politician with everything in me. I even was an aide for a former House Majority Leader when I was in high school (it was my service learning/independent study class). I looooved it. Maybe one day...
7. The only piece of technology that truly makes my life better and I couldn't live without is... sadly my iPhone. I love this thing - it is so handy and so entertaining. Without it, my parents would have walked for MILES thru out San Francisco last year (at the lead of my brother) when visiting me for my 1st half marathon. It is so awesome
Ahh... Friday....Where have you been all my life...well, ok, all my week?!
<3
ps... running in the am, training for NWM has officially BEGUN!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Be Grateful
I think there is a reoccurring theme going on in my life right now... A strong pull and calling to be grateful.
To stop searching and digging for the minute detail that is out of place - because all that really boils down to is me being controlling, seeking absolute perfection, etc. And let's just be honest here...that's so exhausting.
In my small group last night we were talking about the characteristics of shame that we have seen in our "family of origin" and how they played out. Some of them were: control, perfection, denial, blame, disqualificaton to name a few. It was so intriguing to really think about those characteristics and how we saw them fleshed out within our family - and then how impactful they were/are in our lives. Out of that came a realization of how control & perfection really crushes my spirit and keeps me from experiencing all the joy and blessings that are around me. What an awful way to live - but what a blessing to have realized.
I'm seeking to learn how to be grateful in all situations - to give thanks no matter the circumstances - and to seek out His will first.
<3
ps.... no give aways for me... but I keep registering for Dave Ramsey's $1,000 giveaway for the month of May...ya never know :)
To stop searching and digging for the minute detail that is out of place - because all that really boils down to is me being controlling, seeking absolute perfection, etc. And let's just be honest here...that's so exhausting.
In my small group last night we were talking about the characteristics of shame that we have seen in our "family of origin" and how they played out. Some of them were: control, perfection, denial, blame, disqualificaton to name a few. It was so intriguing to really think about those characteristics and how we saw them fleshed out within our family - and then how impactful they were/are in our lives. Out of that came a realization of how control & perfection really crushes my spirit and keeps me from experiencing all the joy and blessings that are around me. What an awful way to live - but what a blessing to have realized.
I'm seeking to learn how to be grateful in all situations - to give thanks no matter the circumstances - and to seek out His will first.
<3
ps.... no give aways for me... but I keep registering for Dave Ramsey's $1,000 giveaway for the month of May...ya never know :)
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Empty Head
I so wish I had something pithy to say today... But I don't.
Hate when that happens.
Life is progressing, and I was woken up by my wonderful husband this morning with a sweet greeting of "Good Morning My Love"
And tonight I get to spend an evening with great friends going thru a study called "Shame No More" - super blessed to be a part of that great group of women & the two women who lead us.
God is good... I must always hold that near
<3
Hate when that happens.
Life is progressing, and I was woken up by my wonderful husband this morning with a sweet greeting of "Good Morning My Love"
And tonight I get to spend an evening with great friends going thru a study called "Shame No More" - super blessed to be a part of that great group of women & the two women who lead us.
God is good... I must always hold that near
<3
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Thank Goodness I'm Not 12 Anymore!
Can I just get an amen from everyone that it feels so good to be finished with the drama that encompassed your life when you were in middle school?! Goodness...
I'm leading Wyld Life (Young Life ministry for middle schoolers) for a group of 6th grade girls... and let me tell you, it pushes me incredibly to the feet of Jesus. It's incredibly clear that anything I say will be fruitless - unless I am leaning on His understanding, stepping back and letting him move thru me. It broke my heart yesterday to have 3 girls sitting on my couch, tears welling up in their eyes speaking of how desperately they want to be themselves but are so fearful that they won't be accepted or understood. Inside I was screaming JESUS! HE LOVES YOU! HE KNOWS WHO YOU REALLY ARE & LOVES YOU ALL THE SAME! IT'S JESUS THAT IS ALWAYS THERE!
But I didn't scream this out loud, I waited on His timing, and brought about scripture as they seemed to fit.
What a scary place to be, to be fearful of being yourself and expending so much energy is trying to hide who you are and what your life is really like. That is so much for a young 12 year old to deal with. How burdensome...
Jesus...would you guide me, show me how to love these girls, give me eyes to see them as you do, and a peace knowing that You are in control of all.
<3
I'm leading Wyld Life (Young Life ministry for middle schoolers) for a group of 6th grade girls... and let me tell you, it pushes me incredibly to the feet of Jesus. It's incredibly clear that anything I say will be fruitless - unless I am leaning on His understanding, stepping back and letting him move thru me. It broke my heart yesterday to have 3 girls sitting on my couch, tears welling up in their eyes speaking of how desperately they want to be themselves but are so fearful that they won't be accepted or understood. Inside I was screaming JESUS! HE LOVES YOU! HE KNOWS WHO YOU REALLY ARE & LOVES YOU ALL THE SAME! IT'S JESUS THAT IS ALWAYS THERE!
But I didn't scream this out loud, I waited on His timing, and brought about scripture as they seemed to fit.
What a scary place to be, to be fearful of being yourself and expending so much energy is trying to hide who you are and what your life is really like. That is so much for a young 12 year old to deal with. How burdensome...
Jesus...would you guide me, show me how to love these girls, give me eyes to see them as you do, and a peace knowing that You are in control of all.
<3
Monday, May 10, 2010
Monday Monday
It's Monday.......
I woke up in my own house, with my husband (whom I love incredibly) by my side, with utilities on, a hot shower available, clothes in the closet/dresser, food in my cupboard, a car in my driveway, gas in the car, a phone to call people/check email....
And within 30 minutes of being at work, I had this overwhelming feeling that I am missing something, that something is a-miss, that nothing in my life is right, that I will never feel confident/comfortable with the finances, etc. It was overwhelming actually - to the point of tears. It makes me feel super vulnerable talking about it - putting actual words to it, giving it a name, bringing it to light.
Maybe this is more about learning how to settle in to my adult life - learning that I'm not going to get to do everything I want whenever I exactly want to do it - learning where true value lies.
I need a big ol' heavy dose of contentment.... Yeah, contentment & peace
<3
I woke up in my own house, with my husband (whom I love incredibly) by my side, with utilities on, a hot shower available, clothes in the closet/dresser, food in my cupboard, a car in my driveway, gas in the car, a phone to call people/check email....
And within 30 minutes of being at work, I had this overwhelming feeling that I am missing something, that something is a-miss, that nothing in my life is right, that I will never feel confident/comfortable with the finances, etc. It was overwhelming actually - to the point of tears. It makes me feel super vulnerable talking about it - putting actual words to it, giving it a name, bringing it to light.
Maybe this is more about learning how to settle in to my adult life - learning that I'm not going to get to do everything I want whenever I exactly want to do it - learning where true value lies.
I need a big ol' heavy dose of contentment.... Yeah, contentment & peace
Friday, May 7, 2010
Blow This Pop Stand!
I am SO looking forward to getting out of town tonight - granted it's only for one night, but it is SO welcomed!
Headed out to the best beach camping spot... Beverly Beach State Park for Miss Ashley's bachelorette weekend with great girls and fun in store.
Back on Saturday afternoon...just in time for WyldLife club.
Have a great weekend friends!
<3
Headed out to the best beach camping spot... Beverly Beach State Park for Miss Ashley's bachelorette weekend with great girls and fun in store.
Have a great weekend friends!
<3
Thursday, May 6, 2010
It's Like Christmas!
Ever have that moment when you find a missing $5 in a jacket pocket? And it feels like you've hit the lottery or opened the best Christmas present ever?!
I just had a moment like that.... thanks to a couple of hidden/forgotten gift cards from my wedding last summer. $140 worth of gift cards sitting in a back pocket of my purse!
Love it!
<3
I just had a moment like that.... thanks to a couple of hidden/forgotten gift cards from my wedding last summer. $140 worth of gift cards sitting in a back pocket of my purse!
Love it!
<3
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
With You I Am Well Pleased
Confession -- I struggle with seeking approval from others.
Not saying that I would categorize myself as a "people pleaser" per-say. But that in every situation, group, in my family, in my extended family, etc. I want to be approved of and/or be a part of that group. This is something that I can see in myself looking back my entire life. There was always an air of insecurity when it came to owning who I am, what I bring, how I contribute, etc. It's always backed by a weakness to compare.
And Satan is so devious in this area of my life. He finds that crack and just twists and turns within it to make it bigger and bigger, and more and more painful. It has bred so much pain, hurt, mis-understanding, and quiet internal strife. I hate that part of my struggle.... Because intellectually I know what I bring, who I am, and how I contribute; but I run in to trouble when I let down my guard around my heart in that area and rely on the lies being whispered in my ear.
"And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son [Daughter], whom I love; with you I am well pleased." Mark 1:11(modification by me).
I am pleasing in the sight of the Lord. I am loved by the Lord. I am an heir to the throne. That is where my definition lies. That is where I should/will find my value. I will trust that God placed in me gifts and wisdom that are needed in the specifics groups He has me in at this stage in my life. My value is in Him, through Him, because of Him. He sees me as well-pleasing...He approves
<3
Not saying that I would categorize myself as a "people pleaser" per-say. But that in every situation, group, in my family, in my extended family, etc. I want to be approved of and/or be a part of that group. This is something that I can see in myself looking back my entire life. There was always an air of insecurity when it came to owning who I am, what I bring, how I contribute, etc. It's always backed by a weakness to compare.
And Satan is so devious in this area of my life. He finds that crack and just twists and turns within it to make it bigger and bigger, and more and more painful. It has bred so much pain, hurt, mis-understanding, and quiet internal strife. I hate that part of my struggle.... Because intellectually I know what I bring, who I am, and how I contribute; but I run in to trouble when I let down my guard around my heart in that area and rely on the lies being whispered in my ear.
"And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son [Daughter], whom I love; with you I am well pleased." Mark 1:11(modification by me).
I am pleasing in the sight of the Lord. I am loved by the Lord. I am an heir to the throne. That is where my definition lies. That is where I should/will find my value. I will trust that God placed in me gifts and wisdom that are needed in the specifics groups He has me in at this stage in my life. My value is in Him, through Him, because of Him. He sees me as well-pleasing...He approves
<3
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
ARGH!
Just when you think you're making progress - something has to know you back down on your rear end!
I've been working this short sale file with my mom for nearly 8 months now, and we just received our final approval of the file from the bank last week. So that was a plus. However.... now that we finally have that approval, we learn that the buyer has received notice that they will be laid off in the next two weeks & are unable to go through with the transaction. Humph!
It just feels like there is something always to battle against. Now granted, I would never want to have another person in a situation where they can't pay their mortgage due to job loss - but this is just a sucky situation all around. So now it's back to trying to find another buyer to move forward on this process and to go through the whole process again!
Mamma Mia..... Is it 5 o'clock yet?
<3
ps... NWM's training begins today... in the rain. Lucky me
I've been working this short sale file with my mom for nearly 8 months now, and we just received our final approval of the file from the bank last week. So that was a plus. However.... now that we finally have that approval, we learn that the buyer has received notice that they will be laid off in the next two weeks & are unable to go through with the transaction. Humph!
It just feels like there is something always to battle against. Now granted, I would never want to have another person in a situation where they can't pay their mortgage due to job loss - but this is just a sucky situation all around. So now it's back to trying to find another buyer to move forward on this process and to go through the whole process again!
Mamma Mia..... Is it 5 o'clock yet?
<3
ps... NWM's training begins today... in the rain. Lucky me
Monday, May 3, 2010
Busy Saturdays + Lazy Sundays = Tired Mondays!
My weekend was very full - spent most of Saturday working at the Keizer Young Life garage sale. So much stuff was laid out, and at 8am there were plenty of people sifting through the knick knacks, clothes, furniture & more! But all in all, it was a success & God was good! Even despite a week of location change (Thank you Church on a Hill for opening your gym to us!) people showed up to show support for KYL and sending kids to camp! I may have even missed a small calling in wholesale furniture sales! I was moving junk left & right! Then I ventured over to Geer fields to support my hubby & his JV Saxon team in their game against NSHS. They didn't win - but at least they weren't playing in the rain. I actually got to spend a bit of time with one of the kids' moms who I really like. Saturday afternoon came with small house projects, dinner at home, and seeing "The Back Up Plan" with Jennifer Lopez.
Ok...I know one shouldn't go into a Jennifer Lopez movie expecting very much...but this was a little over the top to say the least. I don't think I would recommend anyone to go see it. Not that funny for the most part, and there were definitely a couple parts that were extremely unnecessary (read...inappropriate).
But Sunday came - the hubs and I grabbed breakfast at the best place in town, OPH - did a couple more errands around the house (we have a Japanese teacher staying with us on Wednesday night...Mr. Uji -- or Ujisan as Isaac refers to him), then caught a ride w/ the folks down to First Christian Church to be at church with Grandma Jewel for an early Mother's day celebration. I have to admit we were quite the site - our family alone took up about 4-5 rows in the balcony. What can I say...we have a large family! Church was followed by lunch at The Willamette Grille which was really nice and fun to be together. But the highlight of my day was a much needed nap on the parent's couch with the little babies (Jock & Ellie -- my parents' mini-daschunds). It was so sweet.
Overall a relaxing and full weekend... But definitely makes me tired today & long for another weekend! Wish they were longer!
<3
Ok...I know one shouldn't go into a Jennifer Lopez movie expecting very much...but this was a little over the top to say the least. I don't think I would recommend anyone to go see it. Not that funny for the most part, and there were definitely a couple parts that were extremely unnecessary (read...inappropriate).
But Sunday came - the hubs and I grabbed breakfast at the best place in town, OPH - did a couple more errands around the house (we have a Japanese teacher staying with us on Wednesday night...Mr. Uji -- or Ujisan as Isaac refers to him), then caught a ride w/ the folks down to First Christian Church to be at church with Grandma Jewel for an early Mother's day celebration. I have to admit we were quite the site - our family alone took up about 4-5 rows in the balcony. What can I say...we have a large family! Church was followed by lunch at The Willamette Grille which was really nice and fun to be together. But the highlight of my day was a much needed nap on the parent's couch with the little babies (Jock & Ellie -- my parents' mini-daschunds). It was so sweet.
Overall a relaxing and full weekend... But definitely makes me tired today & long for another weekend! Wish they were longer!
<3
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