Sappy Me!

Did anyone else watch Hallmark's movie last night besides me?? Well hubby Isaac watched too - and was sweet enough to indulge me.  I typically don't get drawn in by their movies, but last night was one I just didn't want to miss!

 The Lost Valentine was such a sweet story - detailing a love that was strong & deep, never faltering.  There was one particular scene at the end of the movie that brought me to some pretty strong tears.  WWII love stories strike a chord with me, veterans strike a chord with me, The Navy strikes a chord with me (love my Sailor brother), honoring our fallen soldiers strikes a chord with me -- in essence the entire ending of this movie struck a chord with me. All in all it made me thankful for the love I share with Isaac, made me thankful for the veterans who served & current serve, and made me thankful again for the Navy.

If you didn't have a chance to watch it last night - see if you can get your little hands on it, definitely worth it.  I didn't think it was too sappy or over the top for the most part, but it's a Hallmark movie - you have to expect the sappy factor to go up a bit.
What do you have planned for this week?  Tonight I'm jetting to the club for Group Power, quick bite to eat at home, then back to the gym for some ZUMBA! Super fun!
<3

Full Schedule

Phew it's been a full couple of days.  Thursday was crazy busy at work and then I made my way to Washington to be with Gran in the hospital.  boy was that ever harder than I was imagining! And definitely more tiring than I was anticipating.


As soon as I got in to town I made my way directly over to the hospital to check in with her.  She was happy to see me I could tell and was able to talk finally!  They had just gotten the trach out that day and it was the first time she had been able to speak for herself in nearly 2 months! Goodness can you even imagine not being able to express yourself clearly for so long?  It's crazy.
Friday was way more than I was expecting - I showed up at 9am and was there til 7:30pm that night with a short break in the afternoon. Talk about a ton of things happening to and for Gran that entire morning that I know just pushed her to her limits; wound care, bath, speech therapy, getting a feeding tube removed, a physical therapy attempt, and her first attempt at eating in 2 months.  I was so happy to see my mom when she get there that night.  
Then Saturday brought with it the norm of working at the bridal store - I finally feel like I'm getting the hang of things there and like I'm becoming a part of the group, which is nice.


But today -- this morning brought the best part of my weekend.  Church was so good this morning - exactly what I needed (isn't that always the best?!).  Pastor Barry was talking today about living the gospel, and being a "THERE YOU ARE!" type of person rather than a "HERE I AM!" person.  Great worship & communion  topped it all off...so perfect, so needed, and so welcomed.


Happy to be home, catching up on my trashy reality TV...life is good.
<3

Wee Bit Wednesdays!

Link up & play along with Leigh Ashley!

{one} how tall are you?I'm 5'3" - a shorty, I know


{two} besides bills, what do you spend most of your money on?honestly - probably food. Hubby & I love our food..haha that makes us sound like fatties...ha


{three} what are your three favorite websites?facebook, etsy, & hulu - saves me


{four} what brand of tennis shoes do you prefer?Nike - or my Asics...super comfy running shoes


{five} what food can you absolutely not stand to eat?brussel sprouts - or really fishy tasting fish, blech!


{six} How many pairs of jeans do you own?ok - honestly, probably lik 7 pairs but about 3 or 4 are my go to jeans. I need to replace my trouser jeans in the worst kind of way though!


{seven} if you could have any job, what would it be?Fashion reporter or PR agent


{eight} have you ever ridden in an ambulance?Nope and I don't intend to!


{nine} how many pillows do you sleep with?two - but does Isaac count as a pillow too??


{ten} on a scale of 1-5, how organized are you?3.5 most of my life is fairly organized - for the things that aren't OCD organized, there's a method to the slight chaos, I know where most everything is at all times. It has been a CRAZY day! But I'm looking forward to Group Power with my buddies tonight & Zumba with my cousin as well! I feel like I'm getting in a workout groove! Loves it! <3 

Project Office

I've mentioned it a couple of times before - but I hate my office.  For the longest time it was the catch all room for Isaac when he had roommates.  And for some reason it has stayed that way.  There are boxes in there filled with I don't even know what - papers from Isaac's freshman year of college (circa 1998!) - and a handful of items that are mine.  It has the potential to be a great room, inviting & warm - a place for hubby to play his music and work on football.  

But currently - it is a black hole.  In talking with husband last night I think we are finally going to tackle the mayhem this spring break.  Clean, Organize, Toss unnecessary items and PAINT!

So here's what I need from you guys! What are your best tips for getting an office organized? Any ideas for desks - book cases(we're book nerds) - paint colors - comfy chairs.  Bring em' on! I'll take any & all the help I can get! And I promise to post some before (*shudder*) and after pictures once we get going.  Yes I know...it's still a couple weeks away, but with the kind of mess we're dealing with I think we're going to need the time to plan!



<3

Ho Hum

This weekend was jam packed full - from the moment I got off work on Friday until 9pm last night. I was going going going.  I'm not complaining too much because a couple of times in there I got to spend quality time with great girl friends & our husbands.  But that aside I'm pretty tired now that I look back.

I didn't really utilize the weekend the way that I normally do - which is to re-charge & prepare for the coming week.  Mostly this didn't happen of my own accord (I volunteered to work the bridal show on Sunday rather than taking that day off), so it's mostly my fault. 
Now couple that tiredness with an all together uncomfortable (for me anyway) situation & conversation that took place between Isaac & myself.  Confession -- there is one situation in our marriage that makes me entirely uncomfortable and often times I try to avoid it.  I shouldn't. It's part of our marriage, it's a part of him and needs to paid attention to.  But for some reason I just don't want to....bad huh?!  Makes me feel like an awful wife to be quite honest.  Sure I know a lot of people don't dive quite this deep about their relationships/marriages on their blog.  But right now I feel like this is the only safe place for me to "verbalize" it.  I don't know how to change or modify that part of me that avoids this - or even how to change my mindset around it, or how to even begin to modify it.  It's so frustrating & borderline humiliating for me - like what is my issue, what is my problem, what's with the wall?!  I don't want this to be an issue for the rest of our marriage.......

That said...I'm in a definitely ho-hum mood right now.  Don't want to hang with my niece this afternoon, definitely don't want to go to the gym for Zumba (but I still will...made a commitment), and sadly don't want to be around or talk to anyone...
Trying to lean on the Lord and seek wisdom -- well, at this point I'm just being silent & trying to listen as best I can.
How do you maneuver thru these frustrations & walls in your relationships/marriages?
Any & all insight is welcome!
<3

Fill In the Blank Friday!

Play along with Lauren at the little things we do...

1. My favorite quote is... people don't care what you know til they know that you care. My mom has a unique affinity to always bring this little gem up at the perfect time. And it's so true!

2.  A bad habit I have is... biting my nails & destroying nail polish. It's awful, whenever I get a manicure the polish lasts maybe 4-5 days. Crummy investment. Goal this year is to make them last!

3.  The first time I felt like a "grown up" was... when Isaac & I were on our honeymoon in Kauai.  There was just something about being in our own car, our own hotel room, picking everything we wanted to do & when.  It was fun.

4.  Weekends are... wonderful! Right now they're jam packed for me, so Friday nights & Sundays are usually my veg time. Saturdays I'm working at The Bridal Gallery  which has been so fun. I'm learning a lot, and the extra money isn't too awful either. Putting that away for our trips to Denver & Cali in the coming months.

5.  When I was a child I wished my name was... I don't really have an answer. I always really kind of liked my name.  Didn't know too many other Annas.

6.  I wish... that my Gran was better & back at her cabin. That my brother was closer to home (it sucks having him 3,000 miles away).  That our school & car loan was gone - so we could start putting that $$ to savings for when we have kids.  That Isaac could coach football at his dream school.  That my parents wouldn't have to work or worry about anything.  That my family would come to terms with our history & be open. That when Isaac & I have kids that they would be healthy, happy, and we would guide them in the way the Lord would want us to.

7.  A secret I have is... my family is related to the author Beverly Cleary.  Super cool & random.  Also, I could literally live in jeans & sweatshirts if I was allowed to. So comforting :)

In other news - Hubby Isaac was granted $17,500 from a loan forgiveness program this week, so that knocked his masters loan debt down from $25K to $8K! Hallelujah! God is good!

<3

Wee Bit Wednesday!

{one} name one thing you worry about running out of.toilet paper - it's a fear and the worst feeling ever
{two} what is your favorite pizza topping?tomatoes - weird?
{three} what is your favorite harrison ford movie?Sabrina - I love how sweet he is
{four} apple juice or orange juice?orange juice. 
{five} what’s your favorite thing to do on a sunday afternoon?take a nap...is that bad? Working saturdays now zaps my energy, so I try to soak up some nap time in preparation for the coming week
{six} what is the wallpaper on your cellphone of?lilly pad & flower - attempt at being peaceful
{seven} do you have a favorite tv commercial?YES! the kevin bacon one - where kevin bacon is acting like a normal joe shmoe who idolizes kevin bacon, at the end of the commercial he says something like "my wife says if i watch any more kevin bacon i might just turn in to kevin bacon" then he makes a really hopeful face and lifts up both hands with crossed fingers. SO FUNNY
{eight} what is the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?rocky mountain oysters in australia - only once & never again. barf!
{nine} what is one piece of clothing you can’t live without?sweatshirts/zip ups & jeans..i know that's two pieces, but they're my staples.
{ten} if you were a character from “lost”, who would you be?is it bad that i have yet to watch even a single episode of lost?  so none?
<3

Trip Planning

I have to admit I normally love planning trips - getting all the details in line, figuring the when, the where, and the how.  But right now - I can't say I'm that excited about our upcoming trips.  Well that's not entirely true - I am looking forward to the trips themselves.  I am looking forward to time with Isaac's family, our friends, and other adventures.


Here's what I'm not looking forward to.  For the first time ever I am not looking forward to the details of these trips - figuring out the prices, getting things booked, etc.


That aside - hubby Isaac and I had a silly fight on Sunday afternoon. It was so stupid and it blew up in to something ridiculous.  Ultimately led to both of us saying things we didn't intend to say and did things we did not intend to do.  Boy do I hate those kinds of fights.  They are super rare for us - like ridiculously rare.  So rare in fact that they take both of us by total surprise (ok, I know total is an over exaggeration...it's not like we just showed up to the end result of a fight).  Those fights are exhausting and make me feel crummy.  We patched things up last night - I took responsibility for my actions & words & apologized.  It's so important to be humble and apologize....though that is still hard for me.  But I try my best.


Tomorrow I'll be back at ZUMBA with my cousin! So looking forward to it - I had forgotten how much I really like that class.  Though my heart was beating kind of weird last night, I thoroughly enjoyed being there and sweating it out! Love love love
<3

In need of FUN!

I'm in need of some serious fun.  The last couple of weeks have been wretched, and though I have blogged recently about how wonderful hubby Isaac has been - I'm finding myself in a self loathing, un-fun rut!

He & I need some FUN!  Any ideas on cheap dates to kick start the fun factor?  I'm realizing now more than ever that fun must be an integral part of our relationship, so we don't get bogged down in the mundane activities of life.  

So I say it again...I'm in need of FUN!  Throw your ideas my way - I will greatly appreciate them!
 <3

Gratefulness

So I had a revelation last night - and it made me incredibly grateful.  In the midst of all this craziness & chaos, a constant source of support & love has been Isaac.  No really - he has been an absolute rock star.  From foregoing our planned weeknight dinners to be with my family, to making breakfast & dinner for my large family - he has pretty much done it all and been the best support anyone could ask for.   God is good.

Here's the song my grandfather wants played as part of Grandma Jewell's service on Friday - I had never heard it before this past Sunday, but it's sweetness & simplicity have me listening to it nearly every day.  I miss her....tomorrow is going to be rough to say the least.
Please pray for healing, comfort, and with my extremely large (and ever growing) family...grace most of all.

<3

Who Knew

I have been looking for a black dress for the last 3 days to no avail - I mean really, who knew trying to find a black dress would be such an issue.  


Don't get me wrong, I saw some ridiculously cute dresses on my search - but with where I am right now with my body I just couldn't seem to find one that I felt comfortable in & confident to boot.  It was just a strong reminder to me that I want to get control of my body, my habits & my mentality. I want to walk in to a store and have no concern about looking & feeling cute. 
So here's the real deal - I am 154lbs(not proud, largest I've ever been in my life...), but I am me & I am loved.  I will take control and be active in every part of my health, I will not be passive and take the path of least resistance.
But I have a goal
and...
I am in control of my life...


<3

She was our Jewell...

Grandma Jewell, me, & Grandpa Pat at graduation - June 2008

My heart is heavy and my eyes are tired. 

Late Friday night brought some extremely depressing & shocking news.

My Grandma Jewell passed away suddenly in her childhood home here in town.

It is beyond crushing for our family - she was the rock & matriarch of our ginormous family.

My dad is definitely rocked - though tough on the outside, I know on the inside he's breaking.

My grandpa is completely heart broken - he loved her with all his heart & soul, they were the best of friends. I've never seen him cry in my entire life, but last night that changed.

She loved and supported our family no matter what, in the good times, in the bad times & in every hard time.  There was a constant security knowing no matter what happend, Grandma Jewell would always be there to love you.  Though she wasn't perfect, she was a pretty amazing Grandma & Great-Grandma.

I'm going to forever miss her.

It's just exhausting....and this is going to be a never ending week.

<3

ps. Gran is doing better though -- sat in a chair yesterday for an hour! Praise the Lord!

Grace

I hesitate to write this post -- partly because it seems that my last few posts have been rather serious & partly because it's hard to actually write about.
Those parts of your life & family that no one really knows about or knows to ask about.  And last night I was reminded of that part of my life & family, but mostly reminded of how vital grace is to a family.

I have two older half sisters - a fact that not many people are aware of.  And my eldest sister has had a pretty challenging life, by circumstance & by choice.  I know she often feels rejected and abandoned by the family, and last night made that painfully clear during a family pizza night.  When I would have previously gotten angry with her or even annoyed, last night was different.  Despite the fact that she was in a mood the whole night, and some times talking ill of our dad - I wasn't affected by that.  All I have within me wanted to be gracious & try to understand & be helpful.  It was a challenge to be sure, but I couldn't seem to help it.
She has a little baby girl who is beautiful & precious - and deserves in no way anything but love, grace, care, & protection.
So I found myself reaching out to my older sister and offering her advice, consoling her as best I could, and trying to share that we all need to give each other a chance & some grace.  Me for her, her for my dad, he for her, our sister for her....the list goes on & on.  I kept saying, we're family and we have to give each other some grace a lot of the time.

In the end my dad tried to reach out, as best he knows how & she was moderately responsive.  It'll take time I told each of them.  And that was it.  She was off and we were all headed home.  
It's hard to know how to respond sometimes when the situation calls for so many different reactions.  It's hard not to get upset and hold things against one another.  But where would that get us in the end? Alienated from everyone - including our family.
 We're going to keep trying to re-connect and build a healthy relationship with my sister from the ground up, we'll keep trying to do our part.  We'll see how things come together.

<3

Family First

Story of my life right now.  Between figuring out my place with Isaac's family, my brother being home & making time in my schedule to make weekly trips up to Washing to be with Gran - my life is family family family.

It's a good thing too I'm not complaining by any means.  I'm happy that I have been blessed to work with my mom who makes me available to go to Washington & miss work on Fridays, so that I can play my part in helping Gran get well. (Throw up some prayers & good thoughts for her...she's battling, and the nursing staff seem to be getting a bit lazier...)   I'm happy to get to spend time with my little brother while he's home - I'm always impressed by him each time we're together.  He grows up a bit more every time he comes home.  And I'm trying to figure out how to fit in to Isaac's family - where I fit, how I let myself shine thru in an incredibly different environment.  
It was good to be in Hawaii over Christmas & see Isaac with his family, in his "natural environment" he says.  And I had a good time - though there were small times of struggle or mis-understanding. I know it'll take time find my place and for everyone to get used to me, and I them.  I guess I'm not that patient, and perhaps this is teaching me to be patient, content & to trust the relationship & family that Isaac & I are building.  It'll be a transition period as everyone, Isaac & I included, gets used to us as a family, as a unit.  There will be misunderstandings here & there - but I need to trust in Isaac & his protection of our "family."

So tomorrow afternoon I'm off to Washington to be with Gran - like I said, please throw up some prayers & good thoughts for her.  She's a stubborn Norwegian which is good for us, so I know she'll be ok! Thanks friends!
<3 

Death Warmed Over...

My exact feeling right now...death....

One of my least favorite parts of traveling is the seeming inevitability of catching a nasty cold post flight.  And boy has mine hit hard.  I've been doing my best to battle it with Vitamin C(in various forms), nasal decongestant, cough drops, & rest.  Husband has been very good to me the last two days - didn't even say one sassy thing about my mop top for hair.  Even made me soup twice -- stellar husband that he is.  And he's been incredibly patient & gracious with me when we're talking about pretty serious things in my haze....for which, I can be a bit over emotional when I'm sick.

So that aside here are my(our) few New Years Resolutions - we'll see how we do at keeping them this year!
1. Document our adventures & daily life better. We want to be able to show our kids what Mom & Dad did before they were born, share our adventures & silly things with them, and to have them always to look back to when things get rough.
2. Change our bodies & lifestyles!  We have a goal to be in the best shape (lose & sustain) before we start having kids - mine for somewhat selfish reasons, his for wanting to prolong his "youth" he says.
3. Keep the kitchen sink clean at night - no dishes in the sink when we head to bed.  This should be fairly easy, just have to stay up on it.
4. My last one -- finding more ways, unique ways to show Isaac how much I love & appreciate him.  I think I've got one idea already...just need to figure out some more details!

Off to work - we'll see how far I get today...like I said, death warmed over...
<3