Spergi Family

My entire life my father has always been one of those quirky guys, that all my friends loved, the guy who would drive us to games & make up his own words to our songs.  He was the guy who would bend over backwards for our pets and could figure out any mechanical issue no matter what.  He was never super touchy, huggy kind of guy - unless I forced him or pushed him.  And there were times when it seemed like my dad went from zero to sixty with his temper - and then it would be like nothing happened.
There were times when I just didn't understand my dad - as I grew up and learned more about his history, his family story & what not, that it started to make some sense as to how he acted and why he responded the way he did in certain situations.  So then it was just that my dad was quirky.

An added element -- about 15 years ago my eldest sister had a son.  When my nephew was about 5 years old he was diagnosed with Aspergers.  Aspergers is on the austim spectrum, and is typically a fairly high functioning form of autism.  There's been a lot of study as of late on Aspergers.  Those with Aspergers can often times display inability to maintain eye contact, atypical social skills, abnormal application of emotions to various situations, repetitive behaviors, and limited abilities to express empathy.   My nephew was put in to speech therapies and special classes early on - and our family all jumped on board to help Anthony continue to learn & grow.  There have been some studies that have linked Aspergers to being genetic.  And honestly, when I look at my sister and compare her behavior to that of my nephew I think I could fall in that camp.  I imagine that my sister is what my nephew would be like had he not had the intervention, therapy, and care that he has received.  She definitely lacks the ability express and have empathy for others, she isn't able to process appropriate emotions for varying situations.
About a month ago, a friend of my mother's encouraged her to read a book about an adult male who shared his story, a memoir of his life experiences and how at the age of about 50 a therapist friend helped come to the conclusion that he had been living with Aspergers.  My mom apparently read it in about 2 days - and tried to push it on me.  At first I didn't want anything to do with it, my dad didn't/doesn't have Aspergers -- he's just quirky, a product of his not so normal or steady child hood, a product of 25 years in the Marine Corps, a product of working with mechanical things day in and day out for 30+ years.  He just had his quirks!  I don't know why I was pushing off the book, pushing off the thought that perhaps my dad did have some tendencies.  Maybe I was scared.  Maybe I was nervous about the fact that my dad might have been living with a mild form of Aspergers his entire life and didn't realize/know it.  Don't mis-understand me, there is nothing wrong with anyone with Aspergers, they aren't damaged, they aren't useless or troublesome.  Those with Aspergers simple process situations differently, their brains function at a different pace & focus on much different focal points than others. 


And so while on a 4 hour drive to my Gran's cabin over Memorial Day I picked up mom's Kindle and started reading...and right off the bat there were things that popped up that echoed some behaviors I had always noticed in my dad (*Disclaimer -- this in no way is to come across that these particular behaviors mean you have Aspergers, I can't diagnose any one...this is simply a recognition of similarities between this man & my father).  This man seemed to give different unique names for everyone & everything around him -- my dad always had nicknames for people; ex: my mom = The Blonde Bomb, me = Pahnootsan (Pahnooty, Pahnoots, etc), brother = Alli-Babah.  This man was incredibly mechanically inclined and could focus & problem solve -- my dad can look at a motor, a traffic signal, anything really and figure out how to fix it & fix it quickly.  And it was interesting to see how this man's social interactions with those around him mirrored my father's social interactions.  It was so intriguing and it helped to put things in to perspective for me and help me understand my father, how he likely processes situations, and how I can help strengthen & support my dad.  


So now when my dad is in his quirks that don't quite fit, mom & I lovingly tell him he's having a "Spergi" moment.  The author of the book calls others with Aspergers "Spergians."  So now I am coming to terms with the fact that I likely have been living with a pretty high functioning Spergi my entire life.  And rather than be upset or distraught about the fact that I likely have a "different" dad - it's cool to think that my dad approaches life in an entirely unique way, and try to see what I can learn from him & his experiences & how he views the world.
Definitely recommend you to check out the book - it might change your view of those living and thriving with Aspergers.  

via

Thoughts??

<3