83 + 87

83: days til we're in Hawaii for Christmas Break
87: days til Christmas!!

And so to keep me motivated to work for the next 83 days...a short montage of things I'm looking forward to - food, places and people:

Seeing things like this every day!

 Christmas!

Hiking Diamond Head with Hubby Isaac

Brunch at Duke's Waikiki

Playing Hanafuda with family...or learning how to play!

Lunch at Rainbow's...seriously the best

Spending the day at Sandy's!

Going back to Bishop Museum..I'm such a nerd that this REALLY excites me

Church at Kawaiahao Church 

(The Westminster Abby of the Pacific -- and Isaac's former YL leader is the head pastor)

And most of all TIME with all these people God has blessed me with:
Best friend Heather (& her hubby Jim); Hubby Isaac; Parker Family;
Furukawa/Mukai/Junsay/Fujii-AhHee/Morgado Families;
and more specifically, my mother-in-law Sheila (last picture, back row left)

Can you tell I'm excited and already have a ton planned?! ;)

<3

New....Tired...& Anxious

Well we finally got around to getting a new car! Yahoo for that! It's nice having a car that is ours and I don't feel guilty about driving around & putting miles on my mom's car any more.  Pretty excited about that.


But I'll tell you what -- it's exhausting being in the office without my mom here.  I feel like there are so many more things I have to be aware of and take care of because she's not here.  To the point of I go home, start a project (say dishes, laundry, etc) only to ultimately find myself wrapped up in my blankie on the couch passed out until Isaac gets home.  I have to admit, not exactly making me feel like super wife.... :(  I know he's understanding, but I feel bad.  There has to be a couple days in my near future for me to just get away from it all.  Maybe I'll try and go see my buddy Heather in Hawaii for a few days -- man that would be so nice.

And lastly my anxiety....with the purchase of the new car, I have discovered a new found anxiety about getting the school loan paid off, and the car paid off as quickly as possible.  I hate hate hate having outstanding anything out in the ether.  It's like having that annoying ringing in your ear that you can't get away from -- so thankfully I have a like minded husband and we're committed to extra cash going towards those items for a quick pay off!  Including any form of tax return this year! Yahoo! Love him.


Back to the grind of today....but man, I really just want to play hookie.........
<3

Courtesy

Probably one of the least common qualities displayed these days.

Can't people be courteous to one another? I mean really...hanging up on someone just because you don't like what you're hearing?  Far from courteous.


Realization #6:  Always try to be courteous to everyone you come in contact with...you don't know how their day has been going, is going, or will be going.  Why not try to be a light in their day??

<3

Challenging

One word for this entire past weekend is challenging.  As I said on Friday I was going out to the Young Life camp in central Oregon over the weekend, and was a bit nervous about being there. I hadn't been to camp in a little over 3 years, I hadn't talked much to any of the folks I led with previous, and it would be the first time seeing and talking with many of them.  I was incredibly nervous.
On the ride over to camp there was the most intense thunder & lightning storm I have ever witnessed in my 24 years in Oregon.  There were times when the lightning lit up the entire sky & earth - as if someone had taken a huge snapshot of the terrain.  It felt so tumultuous -- much like how I was feeling inside.
After we had made our way down the winding gravel road and turned in to camp - I felt the overwhelming sense that I was somewhat alone.  Yes, in the middle of all those people -- some whom I've known for 7 years plus, I felt completely alone.  And that feeling did not dissipate come the morning - if anything it intensified.  The feeling of being alone coupled with intense feelings of insecurity (why am I here, what am I doing, do I belong, should I be leading, am I even effective, etc) bubbled thru my brain during breakfast and into the seminar I went to with other leaders.

After lunch our area played a quick game of silly volleyball and then we took a tour of the new Wyld Life camp they're building on the property.  That was amazing to see how they are building this beautiful amazing camp just for middle schoolers.  Following that I somewhat retreated with napping. 

And here's where Satan ramped up his game big time on me(stupid satan...hate him)....while walking to dinner my team leader basically called me out on how my internal things (I'm not super good about sharing my struggles with others) are impacting the team and it's coming across as if I don't care for them, trust me, even like them.  I felt like I had been smacked in the face with a 2x4.  I couldn't even go in to dinner - I had to get away and just think and pray and cry out.  And that's what I did...I took the long way back to my cabin, crying all along the way, crying out to the Lord... Where was He, why am I so afraid, Why can't I just trust in who God created me to be, Why can't I seem to trust this organization again....I plopped down in the bathroom and just cried for 30+ mintues.  Crying and crying and crying...begging the Lord to meet me; I needed an ally in the worst kind of way.  And as faithful as God always is...He did.
During our 2nd general session the worship was so sweet, it felt like God was wrapping his arms around me and healing the hurts that were deep down.  Mike "Ash" Ashburn, our speaker (and oddly enough, the speaker when I was a camper in 2002...), shared incredible wisdom & gentleness; exactly what I need (thanks God).

It was definitely a roller coaster the entire weekend -- and by the time I got home, I was exhausted.  And I think Satan is trying to get at me in any way he can (I'm battling a cold right now) because of the way God met me and I embraced him. 
Here's something that really jumped out to me in my reading...
"Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity." Joel 2:13

Remembering that God is gracious, compassionate, and abounding in love....
<3

Killin' Time -- Thankful For My Husband!!

What is his name? Isaac K.K. Parker (He's Hawaiian so his middle name is literally 26 letters long...and yes I do know how to spell  & say it!)

How long have you been married?  It'll be 14 months on the 24th! Crazy!

How long did you date?  We dated for a 18 months before we got engaged.

How old is he? 30 - but looks like he's 22. 

Who eats more? Isaac does for sure - but I can hold my own; which is one of the reasons why he loves me! Thank goodness!!

Who said I love you first? I think he did :)

Who is taller? He is for sure...I'm a munchkin

Who sings better?  Isaac's family is super musical (our first dance was a song that his Nana sang...so beautiful, "Misty Rains & Lehua") so he is definitely the musician of our family.  Hoping & praying that our kids get those genes!

Who is smarter? Hmmm...we're equally smart in our own ways, but if you wanted to get down to the nitty gritty...probably him.

Who does the laundry?  Typically it's me -- but outside of the football season it's a shared chore thankfully.

Who does the dishes? Again, during football typically me -- otherwise we share. We're a pretty good team.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? If you're laying on the bed -- then me.

Who pays the bills? Majority of our bills are autowithdrawn -- but the other few that require checks to be written, that would be me.

Who mows the lawn?  100% of the time...him!

Who cooks dinner? Typically Isaac, he's the chef in our family thankfully! 

Who drives when you are together? Mostly Isaac, but every once in a while I take the wheel.

Who is more stubborn? I would say I am the stubborn one for sure...

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Probably Isaac most of the time, but we're getting better at identifying the real issues that way one person doesn't "win" and the other "lose"

Whose parents do you see the most? Mine for sure -- his live in Hawaii.

Who has more friends? Probably Isaac - everyone loves him.  I have yet to meet a person that didn't instantly fall in love with the guy the first time they met him.

Who has more siblings? He does - by 1.

Was it love at first sight? Honestly, no.  I met him when I was 16 and he was in college leading Young Life at my high school.  I'm thankful that when I was older our friendship formed first which turned to a deep love & respect.

He's my best friend - and I'm so thankful to be married to such a wonderful man!!

<3

Fillin' In The Blanks!

Thanks to Lauren for The Friday Fill In!

1.   When I get a day to myself I like to       sleep in - lounge around - take an excessively long shower, go for a walk - cook - snug with the hubs.

2.  High school was....       interesting - had its high & low points.  But overall I can't complain too much - I had great friends & parents who didn't always give in to me.

3.  A little dream I have is       to travel the world with my family & expose my kids to all the wonders this world holds for them & to live without any fear, fear of $, fear of loss, etc .

4.  A big dream I have is       to stay at home with my future kids and be one of those annoying moms who organizes every function & cooks for them too!

5.  If I could drive any car my pick would be     a Range Rover - white with tinted windows...love em'

6.  A time that I felt really and truly beautiful was       my wedding - I loved every minute, loved my hair, loved my makeup, loved my dress & SHOES!, loved my jewelry, loved my flowers, loved my lei -- but mostly loved the way I felt when Isaac hugged & kissed me that night.

7.  Tomorrow I will....       be at The Washington Family Ranch (formerly Wildhorse Canyon) for YL Leadership Wknd.  Haven't been there in a while & honestly a little nervous to be back in the middle of that scene....we'll see how it goes!

 

Headed off to WFR today.... hope it goes well...

 

<3

 

What to do...What to do....

I'm facing a small internal battle right now...
And this is where my adult sensibilities are battling against my juvenile wants.
I've mentioned before that my girlfriends & I are signed up for the Nike Women's Half Marathon in a month in San Francisco.  I did this last year and had a blast -- it was such an accomplishment for me (as a short round Norwegian woman, not typically built for running, much less racing).  I was so proud to have that Tiffany & Co. necklace - and it was such a treat to complete it with a great friend!

Here's the battle....with the recent car accident and consequent need to make a new car purchase, the financial picture in the Parker household is on lock down.  We're trying to be super smart with how we spend/save our finances and are putting funds aside for an impending shortfall from Ike's paycheck. 
I really want to go to San Francisco and complete the half marathon again (we've been training since April) but the financial picture does not really mesh with it right now unfortunately.

So do I stick with the adult sensibilities or give in to my juvenile desires and just throw everything to the wind?! What's a girl to do...

<3

Don't Freak Out -- I Do NOT Have "The Fever"

I somewhat hesitantly make this post -- because in my experience, any time a newly married Christian woman starts modestly talking about children the quiet expectation is that she has "baby fever" and wants kids NOW! I assure you that is not the case currently.  A lot of our friends have kids and both Isaac & I loooove kids, so more so it makes me excited in anticipation of when we're ready & when God moves. 

In the mean time...check out these dang cute nurseries! Ahhh! Soo cute.  Hope we can pull something like these together!

 

*I like this one especially -- the cherry blossoms make me think of Isaac :)

 

 

 

 

 

Ok...now that it's out of my system! Ha!

<3

Realization #5

Jeeze -- this must be the season for personal revelations?!  I will from here on out create a label to be associated with all my realizations.

Here it goes...Realization #5:  Sometimes I can just be a big ol' brat!  That's right, I said it. 
My name is Anna, and from time to time I am a brat for little to no reason.  *Phew...not as hard as I thought it would be!* 
Last night was a perfect example of my sinful, selfish bratty-ness rearing it's ever so ugly head!  It's football season & school just started, which typically means late nights for Isaac, particularly on Sundays (they have football meetings in the afternoon which lead in to school work afterwards).  This I know; logically I am aware of this.  Yet for some reason yesterday I was so upset with him when he got home at 9pm -- even though we didnt' have concrete plans, there wasn't some place we had to be, he hadn't said that he'd be home at 6:30, or anything of the sort.  The only thing I had to legitimately stand on was that I think he should have just shot a text with a general at home time.  Beyond this...I had nothing but quicksand beneath my feet.
It was the oddest evening - Isaac feeling bad, me feeling mad then bad then mad again...mad at myself, mad at Isaac, just mad in general.  Not that it's any excuse I was exhausted from the whole week at work and organizing/hosting a bachelorette party....needless to say, I was pooped.  That aside I was just pissed.  Have you ever been in that place where you're not entirely sure why you're mad; but completely sure of the fact that you want to be mad?  That's me -- or was me last night.

So today I feel awful.  Completely wretched.  What a lame-o wife am I?! I am married to one of the sweestest men alive who lives and breathes to be a loving, caring, successful husband who strives to make everyone around him proud.  And here I was throwing it in his face and effectively throwing a useless, pointless tantrum.  Yuck - don't even like myself about that right now!

Now comes the time to apologize and confess my bratty-ness to Isaac.  And time to be incredibly thankful and keenly aware of his sacrifices for our family.  He's wonderful - and a lot of the time I'm surprised he picked me.
<3

Fall = Free Time & Realization #4

Yup -- fall equals free time for me, and I'm excited for it!  Evenings filled with running, cleaning up at home, or dinners with friends.  Ahh...have I mentioned how much I love the fall?! :)

Tonight I will either get my goove on at Zumba! or hit up a group centergy (i.e. yoga) class at the local gyms.  Choices Choices!  Followed by dinner at home, with sprinklings of laundry & cleaning.

But on to a more serious though.... Last night while helping Isaac get his room set up for the school year I have another realization. Realization #4 to be exact.  What an incredibly blessed & lucky woman am I to be married to such an amazing man.  He is so good at what he does and I firmly believe he's the type of person no matter what he puts his hands on, he is going to be the best at it.  He strives so much to be the best teacher he can be for his students, the best coach he can be for his players, the best co-worker & best partner with other coaches.  He has an incredible talent to be able to look at the big picture and imagine what to do to bring all those small pieces together so it all makes sense.   I hit the jackpot that's for sure.  Thanks God for being so good.

Ahh...I love fall.
<3

HALLELUJAH! It's Fall!

That's right - I said HALLELUJAH!  I love fall!  Fall means jeans, sweaters, sweatshirts, comfy puffy jackets, apple cider, reds & oranges, the lead in to mittens, and crisp early morning runs!

Yahoo! I loooooove fall!

Plus I get to spend my Fridays cheering on my favorite football coach -- Hubby Isaac! Although, the month of September I'm a bad football wife....missing every game.. sorry honey! 

But here's something cool that I get to do this Friday.... My cousin Tasha & I are volunteering to work the 6pm-12am shift at the Oregon School for the Deaf while ABC's hit TV show, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, redoes the dormitories & their famous Nightmare Factory haunted house!

I'm so excited to get to take part! Yahoo!
But today...today I will finish my day with a trip to the chiropractor (yahoo massage chair & back crack!), running, and classroom decorating with Isaac (complete with the BEST teriyaki in town!)
<3

Realization #3!

I have realized very clearly recently that those who are manipulative and selfish just about drive me over the edge!  There is one situation taking place right now between a couple of friends and myself that I want to just avoid 100%.  But I can't because I am unfortunately stuck right in the middle -- but really I want to be in the situation, if it were normal.  However there is one person who is so selfish about everything, and then tries to manipulate everyone so that all events direct to her or so she's the focus.

It takes so much energy from me and of me to deal with her - because in this moment that should be focused on my other friend I'm finding myself just itching inside to tell off the other girl, or trying to find any and every way to avoid her.  It's exhausting.

I just hate manipulation - drives me INSANE!!!  Here's an idea -- how about you stop making this about you, stop making a scene, stop comparing, stop bringing up the past & move on!  This is not about you so stop attempting to make it about you.  When you have your big day, then it will be about you -- but until that day comes, just stop!


barf...
<3

2 Realizations

Since Friday I have been consumed with finding a new car... It's all that comes to mind when I have a moment to myself.  Isaac and I test drove a couple cars the other day which only led to some disappointment...  Which has brought me to my first realization.  I really don't like car shopping; in fact, I actually despise it.  There is nothing fun about it to me - because all the things that are sparkly & nice are like $10,000 more!  And this reformed penny pincher is not about to be car poor....(remember, I said we're Dave Ramsey nuts!).  It is mildly depressing...ok, well maybe it's not that bad at all.  But it's a challenge to say the least.  This car will primarily be my car - and while we have to consider general size of the car for Isaac's comfort - I feel like I should be able to find something that I like that fits our budget.  Yet I'm finding myself getting upset with Isaac when he makes a suggestion.  It really boils down to the fact that I just had shopping for cars and for some reason I'm taking it out on Isaac. 
So prayers on peace, unity & God's will in finding a reliable, budget-friendly, car!

My 2nd realization........ This one is a little more challenging to out right admit, but here it goes.
A lot of the time, I really beat up on myself & don't like myself.  I compare myself so much to those around me, people I see, etc.  To the point where I've even questioned what I bring to the table.  Example: Isaac & I recently were at an event where he introduced me, and for some reason I made a comment to the effect of "don't worry, no one remembers me, but how can you forget a 6' Hawaiian?"  And I thought nothing of it.  Thought nothing of out right saying "no one remembers me."  Honestly, this is how I feel a good portion of the time...and have basically my whole life.  I have a keen ability to remember a lot of people, and a lot about those people -- yet it doesn't seem to reciprocate.  So Satan works his way in with that...if no one remembers you, then you don't really have a lot of value, which in turn means you are useless and unworthy.  Yikes...rough....    How do I combat this awful train of thought and take captive my heart & thoughts again.  It is so frustrating - and so isolating.  I want to talk about with someone but never know how to quite explain it without it sounding like I'm whining or acting crazy or just crying (which comes off very crazy if you ask me).

Just a slump kind of day....
<3