Sometimes I forget that life is hard -- like really hard. There are days when you want to throw in the towel and escape to a sandy beach, free from all responsibilities. And your only care in the world is to always have a full glass, that you have enough SPF, and there are plenty of reading materials handy.
The last few days have been that for me -- a battle to fight against the urge to either crumple up and hide under a blanket or run to the nearest warm beach to get away from it all. I don't mean to sound overly dramatic but there's just been this air around me.
Even at BSF on Friday, I had the hardest time connecting with my discussion group & paying attention during the lecture. Nothing in me wanted to be there. I goofed around during the hymns (typically my favorite time of the evening). It was weird....and exhausting. I hate this time of year when things are in transition -- hell, I hate transition in general. I'm not a fan of change (don't stress, no major changes are on the horizon...but even small changes are stressful to me). Call me a control freak - it's been something I've struggled with for my entire life. I've always been the one to take the reins and lead the charge, knowing that I'd get it done some way or another. I'd muscle my way through it if I had to. It was very "me" focused...and even now, looking at this freakin' post there are more "I's" than anything else. BLAH! Do you ever just get sick of yourself...of hearing yourself talk...of over thinking situations. I have hit that place -- the place where it would seem easier to just pack it in, because at this point in time I bring nothing to the table that isn't completely & utterly selfishly motivated. Barf. A good dose of reality is needed -- a kick in the pants -- something!
How to break thru this.....if only there were an easy solution....
<3
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment