The Verge

I feel like lately I've been on the verge of something...the verge of going left or going right.  And I can't quite figure out which way I am supposed to go, what direction to take, what decision to make.  Thus I am left feeling like an ultimate failure. Ugh terrible I know.

And this weekend at a friend's wedding in California, I felt pretty good for the majority of the time...but there were some moments in there where I felt completely out of my element.  Entirely out of place.  Yes I realize that it was mostly just my stupid girl brain trying to play tricks on me but dang it it's hard some times to resist the urge to just give in to that voice and crumble.  The logical side my brain wants to kick my own ass about this stuff.  I know logically I am confident, secure in what I bring to the table and happy with the life that I have & the dreams I have.
But let me just tell you (as if you didn't already know....) that voice is WRETCHED!  Absolutely awful & incredibly powerful sometimes.  So powerful at times that it's almost crippling.  How sad does that sound right now???  And I can't seem to battle against it.  My poor husband - he's soo good to me during these times, but I know he gets frustrated as well.  He wants me to always know and embrace my strengths and love myself the way that he loves me.  He wishes he could do or say exactly the right thing and all would be right in the world again.  But I don't know what to say or how to respond when he asks me what he can do for me.  So hard sometimes.....


Sorry for the random rant, but it's been bubbling in my brain over the last few days & I needed to let it release.
<3