Lazy Days

The mister & I are taking a lazy day today....thankfully it falls in line with my "rest" day from the gym as well.  But it's so nice to lay low, get cozy, and just rest.  Granted the past two days have been off kilter from our new food regimen - but I blame that on Honey Isaac's birthday & a football coaches BBQ.  But hey - it's life right?!  And with that I'm trying to keep reminding myself that one or two meals doesn't make me a fail.  It doesn't demolish everything I've "done" this week.  It's just life.  And today is life.  And tomorrow will be life - and another chance to make another good decision.  

In other news....let me share this beauty with you all....

That right there my friends is my first "True Spartan" bracelet.  What I've mentioned I narrowly missed getting in the past two weeks.  And I nearly missed it this week as well.  Following our grueling Saturday work out our instructor Carlos said we'd have two "Spartan Challenges."  So we all circled up to see who would be the last man/woman standing from a blinded balance challenge.  It came down to me & my friend Misty -- she ultimately beat me in this challenge.  Darn pinky toe came up and then I was all messed up. But following that Carlos started sharing how the people in our class had shown some of the best improvement he'd seen since teaching and he wanted to acknowledge us all for our commitment & improvement since starting.  So we all got a bracelet! FINALLY!

In all honesty, I came home & started sharing the story with Honey Isaac and told him I how I wish I had really "earned" it -- and Lord love him, he interrupted me mid sentence saying -- "But you did earn it - you have gone each time & almost always given it your best or as best you could each time.  That means you earned that bracelet."  Man I love that man...because he's right.  

This is the first time I've been consistent going to the gym -- particularly to do something that is wicked hard & pushes me.  Sure, I was consistent with running...but most of the time that came pretty easy for me & it was just fun to be with my friends/running-family.  But this class -- this thing is a B-face most of the time & super hard for me.  And here I am in to my 3rd month, having only missed classes when absolutely necessary.  

So I proudly wore that bracelet all day & likely will again today.  Hell -- I might even wear it tomorrow & especially to class on Tuesday.  More as a reminder to myself that I am tough, that I can do it, and I can keep going.

Small victories my friends.....small victories!

Where is my head....& more importantly my heart?!

Yup I'm that girl who has been swimming just enough to keep my head above water.  Which, in reading back, isn't exactly something to be boasting about.  There are places in my life where I think "Lord, can it get any more busy? Please say no."  And then there are places where I look and think -- man you're kind of lazy.  Finding balance in these two is extremely difficult for me.  

I'm a firm believer that there is a sickness in my generation and it manifests itself in one of two ways....extreme, sickening busyness OR extreme, depressing laziness.  For sure it's a pendulum that swings from one side to the other for me.  I've yet to really find a happy medium between the two, often finding myself sitting on one side or the other.  And let me tell you operating from the extremes is/can be exhausting!  Emotionally, mentally, physically.  Probably the worst side effect of this sickness is the lack of gratitude & thankfulness.  Lacking in this area definitely makes for a ugly yellow/gray outlook on life.  

How dare I be so ungrateful?  How dare I compare my insides with what I think of someone else's outsides?  That's no fair -- to me or them!  How dare I look down my nose at the wonderfully, magical, tender circumstances God has so carefully laid & prepared for me.  He knows me better than all....even better than I know myself.  Where is the gentle thanksgiving in my spirit?  Where did I lose that along the way?  

Conversations over this past weekend & week have brought a spotlight to this in my heart & soul.  A painful recognition that I have underestimated the goodness, and a recognition that the sadness/frustration/angst is rooted from that place -- and not so much in the details I've decided are "wrong."  

Lord forgive me for this arrogance in believing & acting like I knew better.  Forgive me for ripping the control from your tender hands.  Help me Father to trust, even in the smallest of ways. To release & surrender.  For You will never leave nor forsake Your child.  Your goodness can not & will not abandon.  I'm choosing to smile - and to stop myself from grumbling even if about the small "insignificant" things.  "Wrap me in Your arms Lord"
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Spartan Training

Well in true Anna style - I dove right in to working out....no need for gradual increments right?! Ugh...I thought it'd be "easier" to just go for it.  And I thought if my cousins can do it - then heck, so can I! But I'm getting ahead of myself....let me start again.

My local athletic club has this training class you can join called "Spartan." Think crossfit meets interval training meets cardio -- ALL jam packed in to 30 minutes. And when I say jam packed - I mean it!  Each section is 5 minutes long - one person does one exercise, while their counter parts do a different exercise. Once the "pacer" is done - they switch with one of their teammates.  You rinse  & repeat for the entire 5 minute section, then a whopping 30 second "break" while you rotate to the next section for another 5 minutes.  Literally you go balls to the wall the entire time.  This is all done while wearing a heart rate monitor - and then at the end of class everyone can see where each other were thru the class.  The goal: to spend as much time in the "red zone."
Sounds manageable right?  I mean heck...it's only 30 minutes!  Yah, that's what I thought too!  Until I got to burpees....

What's that?! Never done a burpee?!  Man oh man are you MISSING out! (pardon me while I barf just thinking about burpees....) Hell...pure hell.  Bless my sweet cousin & her husband who were my teammates last night.  They didn't judge me one bit when I stopped moving entirely during a few of our sections.  They didn't even get pissed when I couldn't kick of a section as the "pacer."  So of course at the end of class our stats are posted....and shocker! I had the most time in the red zone.  But let's not get fooled -- it's not because I'm awesome.  It's merely because I'm that out of shape....hell, I was in the red zone during our warm up!  Not a proud moment for me....
And today what I have to show for it are sore legs, a sore booty, and sore upper arms.  My lovely cousin said she felt worse the 2nd day...so I'll let you know how I'm doing tomorrow.

But despite the near death experience (driving home immediately following class was not one of my brightest moments) & the soreness - I can honestly say I'm glad I went.  I'm glad I went back to the gym, even if for only 35 minutes.  I'm glad I put my fears of being the "fat, out of shape girl" (I honestly referred to myself as this to my best friend before class) out of my head.  I'm glad I could come home & honestly say I did something intense for the day.  But mostly it has me thinking of how I really do need to get on board with moving my body, getting healthy, watching portions, being active (in all areas of my life!), and participating in a balanced life!  So this week - I'll finish my demo with Spartan training & decide if I can handle that brutality 3x/week - or if I find a different route to stay on track. 
Have you found something that works for you? Does it push you to the very limit? Or have you found a happy medium?? Share your wisdom with me!

Jet Set

Welp this past weekend we took a little jet set trip to Hawaii...yup for a 24hour period.  Crazy I know.  But sometimes it's necessary to do those crazy things for your family.

Honey Isaac's family was having a small reunion, and his dad called like every day to see if we were free to come. So we made a decision to throw caution....and frankly, logic....to the wind and woke up at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday and made our way to the airport to take a 6 hour flight to Honolulu. Despite a salty gate agent (flying standby is a delicate endeavor let me tell you) we both made the flight no problem.   Man I'll tell ya -- it was rough goings as the night got late, that 2 hour time difference was brutal.  But all in all, it was awesome - it was nutty - it was good for Honey Isaac's soul.   During 2012, we took a break from traveling to Hawaii...so I could tell how quickly it rejuvenated him.  Good food, family, spending time with our nieces & one of our nephews, visiting his grandma, and mostly just soaking in good weather (it was a balmy 24 degrees when we left Portland).  

It was so funny how the entire drive to the airport, Isaac kept saying "This is so stupid," "I can't believe we're doing this," "I can't believe we're only going for 1 day" etc.  My response...SO WHAT?! We didn't have plans.  We don't have kids to worry about.  We were responsible and asked my little brother to watch our dog.  And we had the money to pay for our tickets and snacks with no problem.  It's totally necessary to do crazy things every once in a while.  To do things that make no sense.  To keep things interesting! Plus it's fun & important for me to show Isaac how much I love him and be flexible for things like this and spur of the moment trips to Denver to see his brother & his family. 

So our little travel loving butts are headed off yet again this weekend for a wedding in San Diego.  I seriously can not wait for this trip -- it'll be my very first Samoan wedding! So fun!  Hopefully I'll have lots of fun stories to share when we get back!

Jillian Michaels is a B...

That's right I said it.... I've been tackling her 30 Day Shred DVD the past couple weeks (and only seriously in the last week), but let me just tell you... She is a B.  

Oh sure you think 20 minutes won't kill you.  You can do anything for 20 minutes.  But let's get real my friends.  It's a non stop 20 minutes (that statement alone makes me feel like a lazy fatty....) that honestly has left me pouring sweat after each segment.  And I hate sweating.  As in I really, truly, painfully dislike sweating.  But I digress -- mostly, it's just uber challenging.  The biggest pain I have are my calves.  It's shocking how much pain I'm in after only 2 minutes of alternating jumping jacks and "jump rope."  The first 2 or 3 days I had trouble walking up & down my stairs!  Let alone the impact on my running.

All this aside, I can say that I can see a little change in myself.  Miniscule change -- but hell, I'll take it!

I even wrote out a pre-planned calendar of workouts for the month.  Each day I get a sticker if I did my work out...yes, I realize how juvenile that sounds but you'd be surprised how flippin' motivating a tiny little sticker can be! I want that sticker each day and I'll push myself thru a brutal 20min Jillian Michaels DVD, a run, Zumba, or anything else just to get that sticker!  

How you do approach work outs? Pre-plan? Go with the flow?  Do you plan out any rewards for yourself? Like a pedicure or massage?
Happy Friday!   

I Will Until....

Real talk....marriage is tough, it's challenging, it's not always glamorous.  Sure I wouldn't change or trade anything about being married to the man I love.  But it would be disingenuous to posture as if life were flowers & rainbows every single day.

That being said - as of let a few of our couple friends have been working their way through some pretty tough struggles.  Situations and conversations that aren't always comfortable, that don't have a nicely wrapped up resolution.  Situations and conversations that sometimes lead to more questions than anything.  But only for a period of time. And truthfully the only thing that keeps popping in to my head is a saying my mom shared with me once (during a period of time when it life in the Parker household was challenging)...."I will until..."  This concept didn't make much sense to me at the time.  But each & every time Honey Isaac & I have come to a conversation or season when life seemed particularly hard this has popped up in my head.  I will do everything, I will try anything & everything, I will share, I will confess, I will surrender, I will apologize.... I will.  A choice.  An action.  An active participation.  

My heart aches for our sweet friends and those around us when these seasons rear their ugly heads.  My heart breaks when people give up or surrender too easily or quickly because it doesn't "feel good."  Feelings are so fickle - I'm always shocked how we, myself absolutely 100% included, make so many life changing/altering decisions based on feelings.

Remember my friends.... I will until....
Stepping of my marriage soap box now 

Small Changes

That's what I'm trying to focus on these days....small, baby-step, changes.  Watching my portions.  Doing something active each & every day.  Hugging my husband, even when he's annoying me.  Slowing down to mind my tone at work.  But let's just be honest - even these "little" changes are incredibly challenging!  And while we're being honest - let me also state that I am not a big fan of patience.  If I'm doing something, I'd much rather see the end result in short order.....none of this keep doing it til you see it nonsense.  Alas, that's pretty much how it works out in life though.

So I suppose I'll keep at my small changes.  And tonight's small change - getting my work out in, finishing dinner, & finally folding the mountain of clothes in my living room.  I've only about about 46 days left til Mexican vacation, so I've got zero time to waste....

How do you hang on to the end goal?  Or find your motivation when things get tough? Send me your tips & tricks!

Weekend Recap

Well another weekend whizzed by -- sadly....  I'm always reminded how quickly my weekends seem to dissipate.  But thankfully, this week I remembered to document at least some of it! That being said, I'd still like my weekends to be a bit longer.

 My solo dinners have been improving as of late.

Thursday menu: Mini turkey meatloaf & garlic green beans. Oh and not to mention one

of my new favorite drinks: Angry Orchard Hard Cider. Let's all say in unison..."yum!"

 Post game get together. Tough loss this week, it was close for sure

but each week the kids & coaches look better & more comfortable.

This next week is homecoming! EEK! Cross your fingers for us!

 Homecoming game at Honey Isaac's alma mater.

Smashed the visitor -- 51-10. But Honey Isaac's little cousin plays for 

them, and a few good friends coach for them. So it's always nice to 

see people you know & love, regardless of the mascot on their jersey.

 Pre-reunion dinner walk thru Honey Isaac's college campus.

It really is a pretty campus in town -- oldest university this side of the Mississippi!

 And finally, my wife fail for the weekend. There's about 3 loads of laundry 

there that needed to be folded.  But a nap & dinner seemed so much more important.

C'est la vie!

Trying to rally at work while being sick today...not the easiest or most enjoyable thing ever. But I'll survive....right?? My couch, tomato soup, and sleep are beckoning me!

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Shopping + Girlfriends

I've been here before...and I'll likely be here again...  But I've got some pretty great girl friends.  This past Saturday, I found myself sulking a bit and bumming it on the couch.  Honey Isaac & our Celtics have a tough game the night before. 
But rather than be left to my own devices(I had absolutely no intention of doing anything til date night began.) - two of my sweet friends texted to see about going shopping for a girls day!

Well thankfully this month, Honey Isaac and I set up our budget and had allotted some funds for me for some new clothing (hallelujah!).  And who passes up on an opportunity for girl time & shopping.  Even though I'm not super great at shopping for myself, I happily agreed!  We made our way to the nearest outlet mall to do some damage...except by damage, I really mean make our way thru the stores while trying not to be too stingy.  However, it was awesome to not be the only one who wanted/needed to stop in the store and do some quick math.  Talk about good, like minded friends!

First stop was Banana Republic outlet...found myself a cute pair of eggplant pants (apparently dark colored jeans are still "in" for the fall) and a navy light cardigan.  Nearly ate about half my budget -- which had my stingy meter on full alert.  So we all promptly made our way to LOFT for some better deals.  To which I ended up getting two cardigans, two v-neck sweaters, and a blouse.  Morale of the story ladies & gents...go shopping with good  friends, they see things MUCH differently than you, can be great encouragers, help you stay on budget track, and it's simply more fun!
My own personal lessons for the day.....I need to expand my wardrobe a bit more. I confided to my friends that I have a problem with only purchase v-neck t-shirts, and I have a serious problem purchase cardigans! They're seriously an addiction of mine. Lots of colors in short, 3/4, and full sleeve. The other lesson: find pattern that's versatile & be sure to get multiple kinds of pieces to make full outfits.  This most recent trip I ended up with only one pair of pants and the rest tops...which is totally fine, but I need to remember to incorporate shoes, accessories, etc.
Makes me wish one of my favorite fashion bloggers lived closer...I'd call on her in a second!

All in all an agreement was made to make a monthly shopping trip together & help one another purge our closets quarterly!  Huzzah for great friends!
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These Days...

Well my friends we have survived the first week of real football practice, survived our first game (a whopping 4 1/2hrs south from us, and ended in a bitter loss...sad day), and survived our first weekend of meetings.  Needless to say, it feels good to actually be back in to what is the Parker's "normal" routine.  I always feel a little jolt as we move in to this season....a small shock to the system as it all comes together.  But once in the swing of it, it feels right.  Sure there are nights when I'd like my honey home early to eat at a "normal" time & it'd be awesome to snuggle on the couch the entire Sunday afternoon....but truth be told, Isaac is doing what he loves & what he is meant to do.  How can I be mad about that??

And these days....have already brought a few instances where my husband's incredible patience has needed to shine through.  For which I am amazed - can't say I would be as gracious, as cool under pressure, or as clear minded. Can we say rockstar or what?! 

But most importantly these days - I've been reminded (even though that ugly little voice is trying with all its might to distract me with lies) that I am loved and supported by some pretty wonderful family & friends.  Ever have one of those days when just everything seems to be falling apart at the seams?  Yup, that was my Tuesday....or what I'm calling Monday on steroids.  Rather than crumbling to that ugly voice (which would and sometimes still is my norm) - I thrust out my hand to my sweet friends; who without hesitation offered prayer, encouragement, and love.  Let's just get this clear - for a girl who never thought of herself as a "girls girl" - I am BEYOND grateful for this group of women who I am growing to know, trust, & love.  What a blessing to know I can turn to these women even with the smallest, or ugliest things and know that I'm not alone.  Weight lifted! Which in turn obviously makes me want to return the favor - to them, to the other football wives/girlfriends, to my other dear friends, to family...catch the drift? Ya know, pay it forward??

Just for good measure - here's a photo from Honey Isaac's first football game... I was a smidge late, and missed the kick off (insert wife guilt here....) but by & by could not be more proud of him.   

That's him in the center w/ the black hat & blue shirt.  Thankfully we're on to the next game & everyone is ready to take on the new challenge.  Will try to keep my cool at the game this week...don't want to be the cooky wife! 
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Proud Wifey, Good Friends, & Blue Day

I first must apologize for my MIA status....life, as expected, has gone complete nutty with the start of football.  But like me, I'm sure you all have craziness of your own.

As mentioned, football is in full swing (even though I've said this before, now it's real & true).  Two weekends ago we had our coaches BBQ, which was the first sign.  Then we moved straight in to doubles week...aka, don't see your husband week.  Thankfully enough I have some pretty wonderful friends who invite me to share in their evening routines.  Thursday night of last week was spent with some dear friends having dinner, watching flag football, and observing a very rowdy baby boy getting a hair cut...let's just say there was hair everywhere.  And again super blessed by good friends on Friday night when a sweet friend tagged along with me to make some Head Coach's Wife errands & deliveries.  Followed up by a good dinner & conversation.  A reminder, yet again, that friends are the family that you get to pick!

Which brings me to McNary High School's first ever "Blue Day" extravaganza held on Saturday.  Honey Isaac & a Rotarian in town have been working on hammering out details for this even for months.  Our local Rotary club sponsored the event & offered to host/cook for McNary's Football team & parents, the Pop Warner teams in our area, McNary's marching band, as well as our cheerleaders.  The booster club made it's presence known by having NEW McNary merchandise to outfit fans.  It was an absolutely wonderful day.  I showed up about 9:30 and there were already about 50 people putting things together, getting grills warmed up, setting up shirts and yard signs to sell.  So I spent my time in the Booster Club tent selling sweatshirts & t-shirts & more.  It was so fun!  Honey Isaac asked if I caught any of the scrimmage...to which I sheepishly answered no, I was too busy selling the new duds!  Our friends from the Rotary club shared that they fed nearly 1,000 people! Amazing! Blue Day was an incredible success - but the best part of all was seeing how our community banded together in support & how that day really has built some excitement for what's to come!  For this coach's wife I was more than honored to be able to field so many compliments from our new friends about what a wonderful job Isaac is doing (duh!), and how happy they are to have someone at the helm who is genuinely excited about growing a strong, successful, and well rounded program & community!  *insert puffed up chest here* Talk about extreme pride & joy spilling out from my heart.  Plus it was just plain cool to really get my first glimpse of Isaac in his role as the Head Coach of the program!

Here are two photos from the day taken by the gentleman who helped organize the whole event...

Honey Isaac & our mayor Lore Christopher...she was our MC for the day

Myself & the booster club presidents youngest daughter...selling our little hearts out!

 

 It was, again, such a fun day...and made me so thankful & happy to be starting this new journey with so many wonderful, new friends.  Blessings, blessings, blessings!

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morning workouts are a mother

Let's not  play games...getting to and completing morning workouts are a beast.  Pre-vacation I was on a pretty good routine.  Post-vacation....sucks-ville.  Can't seem to get my rear end out of bed when I intend to & get myself to the gym! Or heck, even my living room for a little Jillian Michaels session! 

My sweet friend Monique is such an encourager -- I sent her a text this morning (our morning ritual) bemoaning my lack of discipline to get to the gym, and her simple reply was to go at night & do what I can!  Yah...do what I can, when I can!  Sounds so good, so easy.  And yet, in the evenings it's so challenging (note I did not say impossible....).  The two of us are on a journey this fall -- we've got a larger goal, and are determined to celebrate small milestones too.  But I've got to do the work!

I suppose the best & only thing to do is to just keep doing what I can, when I can....and be disciplined to actually take advantage of the time that I have.  Frankly, with football here (our non-stop weekends kick off this weekend) now I've got plenty of time on my hands! Time to pull out the mini-Marine my parents instilled in me and get to work!

How do you muster up the energy/determination/discipline to get up for morning workouts?
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The Hunger Games, Sunburns, & the Ale Trail

We have returned from our long awaited, and long over due, vacation.  Sadly...to be honest.  I always hate leaving Eagle Crest. It's definitely one of my most favorite, sacred places.

The first moment I stepped out of our car last week Saturday and caught my first sniff of those lovely juniper trees I was in heaven! The first weekend we spent time with my folks & boy did I kick the weekend off like a rookie! Mom & I spent a few hours at the pool while the guys golfed -- and dope that I am entirely forgot to have sunscreen be put on my back! Well...except for the parts I could reach with my own hands, rubbing in my spray sunscreen! A mere 3-4hours later in the Central OR sun and I was pretty toasty! So toasty in fact that mom & I had to spend the next day in sweet Sisters, OR just to avoid the pool.  How lame, the thing I love to do the most at Eagle Crest & I botched it for myself for like 2 days!

A nice weekend with my parents led straight in to a few days just Isaac & I -- which let me tell you....this time was much needed!  We haven't had quiet, alone time with no work or football distractions in some time.  Sure he took care of a few items but for the most part it was just us relaxing, watching the Olympics, and hanging out! Let's just say it was awesome :)

Highlight of my week was finishing about 5 books - and primarily the entire Hunger Games Trilogy.  I'm not one who jumps on band wagons much.  In fact, I tend to steer clear of all the "popular" things for a while. So with all the craziness dying down I tracked down a set & happily read thru them in 4 days.  It was great! Not as intense as I was expecting, but the 3rd book definitely was the best of all 3.  There were a few moments of "oh my goodness!" But it definitely makes me want to see the movie now & anticipate the upcoming movies!

And finally ended our week with wonderful friends joining us for the last few days.  Time filled with my best girl friend at the pool while the boys went on adventures (let me tell you friends...this is the BEST set up for traveling with friends!).  We'd laze around in the morning, make our way to the pool about 11am and stay there til mid afternoon.  Ahhh...it was awesome!  Highlight of this time was doing the Bend Ale Trail.  The Bend, OR visitors center has a designated a route to take to visit some of the best known & newer breweries in the area.  You go & taste, purchase some drinks & food and get a stamp!  Once you've visited all the breweries you take your little pamphlet back to the visitors center for a prize! It's definitely a fun way to spend some time with good friends.  It can be as cheap or as expensive as you want -- we spent some extra purchasing some beer pints at each spot & some yummy food.  Definitely something to check in to!
 
Though I promised photos....I can not deliver. I get too focused on who I'm with and what we're doing to stop & document (silly me...).  I think that's going to be one of my goals this fall while Isaac is off being a big time head coach & all.  I'll start documenting what happens so we can look back & enjoy.

SUUUUUUUPER side note....Honey Isaac & I bought a new small vacuum cleaner (our hardwood one bit the dust after 3 years...) & it's a lovely Elextrolux.  And sweetie Isaac said I could be just like Kelly Ripa now... Yah, not so sure about that. ;)
Happy to be home as always, but football is now in FULL swing with lineman camp this week, team camp next week, doubles the following week, & then practice before the first game.  Jealous yet??  I'm trying to squeeze out my last few projects from Isaac and then it'll be all hands on deck for me with the house/cleaning/cooking/etc.  Such is life!
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oh yes...vacation!

I'm just under the 24hour mark for the beginning of my week long vacation for "dead week."  Nothing spectacular planned.  Just time away with my husband, my folks for a few days, & some of our very dear friends.  I am beyond ready for some quiet, lazy mornings, afternoons by the pool, nights filled with games & laughter, and lots of quality time with Isaac.

Small frustration slightly related to vacation (for next year that is....) - the place we are going & were hoping to go next year changed their reservation process (one that has been in place my entire life) and so we aren't able to get reserved for next year! Bah-humbug!  So we'll try and figure something else out...perhaps book a week & trade for something over spring break.  Meh - we shall see.
Back to the good, right?!  So I'm going to focus on beautiful weather that's expected. Quiet mornings. And most of all gearing up for this football season.  Prepping my heart & mind for all that will come with being the head coach's wife....whatever that means! ;)

As always, I'll try and snap some photos -- but I'll fore warn you, they'll probably all be iPhone or instagram.  Sue me for being lazy! ha

Enjoy your week friends! 
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meh

Let me just put this out there -- I am not the girl that gets excited to go to the gym. I am not the girl who is able to or wants to plan/prepare a weeks worth of meals or snacks.  I am definitely not the girl who can do a ton & go to the gym and lose 1-2lbs after all that work.


Want to know how I know this?  Because today this has sort of slapped me in the face.  Granted I'm trying to just drag my butt to the gym and do something. But boy oh boy is it challenging when you have to face the fact that everything is just going to be a little bit harder.  And it's not so stellar to have to come to terms that what I see as a ton of work will not warrant the kind of results I would want or hope for.  Blah kind of sad & frustrating all at the same time.


And so I have found myself in a little bit of a funk tonight - trying not to let it overwhelm me.  So tomorrow morning, I'll get up early like I have been and take myself to the gym.  Small choices piled on top of one another will make a difference later down the road...right?? I sure hope so.
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my oh my

Where has the time gone?! Honestly - how is it already July 5th?! Crikey! So many things seem to be whizzing by.  

Which means that in no time I'll be sitting at football games. In no time I'll be cooking/cleaning/organizing on my own.  In no time I'll be doing the majority of grocery shopping.  In no time I'll be eating Thanksgiving dinner.  And in no time, it'll be my birthday & Christmas all over again!  Now that is just nutty.

But the other thing that's stopping me in my tracks is the need to slow it down & really appreciate the small moments. To relish in the sweet conversations with good friends.  To reach out to people as they come to my mind. And most of all to not settle for living in a mediocre state -- and this is definitely hitting hard in all areas of my life.
I recently tried to do a daily chore list & started off GREAT. But got off track....so as my dear friend Monique says, "Try again tomorrow & be mindful to do it better!"  So that's exactly what I intend to do.

How are you handling how quickly this year is going?

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finally some peace

This may sound odd and/or confusing to some.  But the past few months have been frustrating, confusing, un-nerving, etc for me.  Most of the time I've been feeling unsettled, uncertain, uncomfortable....a lot of "un" whatever.  And somewhere in the most recent weeks that is seemingly melting away in general.  Sure there are parts of my life/body that still have me in that "un" place -- but for the most part I'm finding a sense a peace.  A sense of creating my routine, my general demeanor towards life & being OK with what is.  

And in all honesty - I've been needing that peace with all the changes going on around me.  Thank you Lord for your peace that passes all understanding & for leaving your peace with me!

Now...bring on the weekend! Hope you enjoy yours friends!
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a trip, some photos, & a thought

This past weekend, Isaac & I made our way to Denver.  The objective in traveling to the Mile High City: visit with Isaac's brother, wife, & meet our new nephew Kapono.  Definitely a trip we were looking forward to - and were happy to add it in to our typical 3 trip/year agenda.  I mean who doesn't love holding a cooing baby?!  Plus, it was really nice to have some quality time with my brother-in-law & sister-in-law. Time to rest, time to visit, time to just stare at the little guy & chuckle together at his pouty lip (that he is very quickly mastering). Parker man & I decided to stay at a hotel about 15/20 minutes from our family - mostly because I really didn't want to put pressure on them about having to "entertain" us, or worry about waking us or vice versa.  It actually worked out really well....because one day my SIL Crystal had some errands to run & the boys wanted to shoot guns.  So I dropped Parker man off at their house & made my way back to our hotel to rest, do some work, and putz around.  Everyone did what they needed/wanted to do & were happy.  Most of all it was just great to build some memories together and visit.  Definitely my favorite thing to do.  We even cooked up a quick Hawaiian dinner for Matt for his first Father's Day -- and I know being there for that made Isaac super proud of his brother.  I can tell how proud he is of Matt & how well/fast he's taken to being a dad.  A reminder of all the blessings in our families!

Here are a few photos snapped over the long weekend....sorry for the poor quality, I forgot our camera & only had the trusty iPhone available!

 Kapono boy himself -- such a sweet heart! And with reddish/brown hair & light eyes, so cute!

 Parker & Kapono visiting -- Pono was a fan of Uncle's tummy!

 Big man put the little man in his jammies

 On our last morning sitting in Pono's favorite spot -- the front porch.

Sad to leave the little guy but excited to see how he grows!

 Parker man found a new "use" for the Boppy...haha

 Kapono in love with his "My Little Lamb" swing. He was happy as a clam watching the mobile go round & round.

Isaac & I were reminded of how many blessings there are all around us.  Though there are challenges, nothing really outshines or should out weigh the goodness that surrounds.  Maybe it's babies that bring things back to center - their needs are simple.  Their love pure.  A reminder to care for & love one another in that same manner....to only expect people to be exactly who they are & respect them for that.

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Random Thoughts & Photos

Well it's been another "new normal" kind of week at Casa de Parker.  Filled days & evenings, small moments with husband, hard but good conversations with husband/friends/family, & reminders that my Lord is good...

Our best friends were in town visiting from Hawaii - This is Heather...sporting Isaac's new helmets for McNary.  She's uber tough...can't you tell?? ;) We heart them & am thankful for our friendship - she & I have been thru thick & thin, best friends since 5th grade!

 MacKenzie girl here is my 14yr old niece -- just was "promoted" from 8th grade last night, and is officially now in high school! Yikes...I remember when she was just a wee babe. Such a funny, wise girl.  And thankfully she loves the "retro" cheer sweater I picked up for her to support my alma mater & her new school.

 Ike & I made the trip out to South Salem on Friday night to see and support the senior class at his former school.  It was such a treat to walk the grad line with him and hear so many kids thank him, to hear them tell me he was/is their favorite, etc.  And there was one kid in particular we wanted to see; who I know has told Isaac that he hopes to be the same kind of man Isaac is & how Isaac was the father he never had, that in many situations he just wanted to call Isaac "Dad."  Let's just talk about super proud wifey over here - a reminder that all the long hours & extra work are important, they are meaningful, & a bigger game is at play.  Following graduation we made our way to our favorite teriyaki spot in town (the sweet owners know & love us). Lets just say, since our life now fully revolves around Keizer we'd both been craving this meal! A special date night with my Asian honey. ;)

 Sunday afternoon was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L in good ol' Oregon.  So while Isaac kindly let me spend alone time at the gym (running did not go as well as I hoped, but yoga was great), he & Boston boy did some major yard work. These two are besties, and I know when the day comes we'll both be heartbroken when Boston is gone.  He's a big lug...not your typical small, slender lab...he's a beast! But beyond loveable & kind spirited.  And now my yard looks trimmed & beautiful :)


Random thoughts for this Wednesday:
1. I love friends who are encouraging, especially in the area of healthy living. I so appreciate encouragement, kind reminders, & grace! 
2. It's time to get my hair cut again - but I'm afraid my hair dresser cousin is still going to be disappointed in my "damaged" hair...it's much better than it was previously, but now I'm all anxious about it.  Silly I know.
3. Hoping the Ft. Collins, CO fires won't disrupt our travel plans to see family this weekend...must call hotel.
4. Exactly 45 days til our Eagle Crest vacation! HUZZAH! Top 5 favorite places on earth.
5. Can someone please teach me how to be a wash & go kind of girl...I want healthy happy hair, but mine always seems to be a frizzy mess if I leave it to its own devices.  Ready go!


Welp, that's all I've got for today friends....
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do not be afraid

There's been a stirring in my over the last 6-9months.  A stirring I've been thoroughly confused by.  A stirring that has taken me from one emotion to the next - mostly because I was & still am quite uncertain of what the stirring means.   

As a self-proclaimed control "freak" these kinds of stirrings - you know, the ones with no clear direction or meaning - tend to throw me off my game.  Truth be told I've mostly been stuffing or ignoring this stirring.  Probably because it seemed easier to do that than sit & dig in to what might be behind that stirring (sorry for the extreme use of the word stirring... can't think of a better term).  

Last evening I was blessed to be in fellowship with some of the kindest, warmest women I have met.  Women who inspire me to be authentic, women who's beauty is far deeper than just what is seen, women who, even if its just in that moment, are not afraid to live from their most confident place.  In our study time last evening I had a bit a revelation...that often times I make my own plans and develop entire scenarios/experiences in my own head & completely miss what the Lord is doing or is trying to teach me.  Looking back I think of all the things that I have missed -- how sad.

And I'm noticing in the past few days that God is clearly saying to me (the only clear thing I have right now)  is to not be afraid. In my weekly memory verse, in my morning study, in the quiet wisdom from trusted friends.

Who knows what that stirring is or what it means.  But what I do know is that I will not be afraid.  I will trust & I will praise -- because there is nothing that the Lord is doing that will bring harm.
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"When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.  In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid.  What can mere man do to me?" Psalm 56:3-4