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so apparently falling off the face of the earth is kind of my thing... i've been totally MIA from here, pretty quiet in the "twitterverse" (please don't judge me for using that term...), and pretty non-existent from instagram. there have been countless times i've logged in, hoping to find some gem ready in my brain to share or to have some creative thing to display. alas i did not...and thus i disappeared.
and in all brutal honesty - i mostly haven't had anything super "worthy" of sharing. there are times that i wonder what the hell i'm even doing. where the hell i'm going. who the hell i'm even becoming....don't you just freakin' love your mid-20's?! talk about inconsistency! compound that with still trying to find my place in this whole football world - it's so much different than the last go around & it's terribly challenging to find my footing.
amidst all of this there has been one thing that has made its self known to me a number of times...and very clearly...
so in the midst of all the confusion, in the dark times of my day or night....i'm trying to remember and hold true to these words. there is a purpose, though it may not be clear right now. it may not be clear for some time. but regardless - i am not here on accident. and my circumstances are not an accident either. in time i'll understand - and for now all i need to know is this.
<3
I love getting the opportunity to spend time at one of my most favorite spots in the world. Washington Family Ranch (previously Wildhorse Canyon) has been, and hopefully always will be, one of the few places I have ever felt completely & totally comfortable. It's a place of peace & clarity. And I am guaranteed each time I go to see someone who I love, respect, and admire.
This past weekend was the 4th annual Women's Weekend - and my first time going. What a joyful, fulfilling time spent with family, new & old friends, and many YL friends also. BUt mostly what I especially love about being there is that I almost always have a moment (or two) of extreme clarity/direction to take back home with me.
Some may not know, but when I was graduating college I nearly went on full time Young Life staff. For a variety of reasons I decided against it -- but this weekend, in particular, was a time when I really caught myself wondering had I made the right choice. Young Life was something I thought I'd always be good at it, I could have done a really good job, and I simply have a deep love for the program and its mission. So during our all camp quiet (30 whole minutes of solitude) I prayed. I prayed & asked the Lord to give me a vision of what I'm supposed to be doing, where I'm supposed to be going. And then I sat....and waited... The moment I sat back up in preparation to head back to the club room, it was like a wave of came over me and the only clear spot was the word "patience." Now I'm not entirely sure what that means right now. Or what that even looks like. But it was so clear, that even the next morning I found myself trying to keep hashing it out, to make sense of it.
Any one who knows me, knows I'm not exactly what you would call a patient person. Heck, I un-wrap & re-wrap my birthday presents.... But I'm willing to submit to this and wait to see what is on the horizon.
<3
This may sound silly to many of you -- but I've recently added an item to my morning routine. Never mind I'm still trying to train my body to wake each morning at 6am (or earlier)...unfortunately haven't had much success with that one yet.... Anyway, I digress...
Back to the somewhat silly part -- I started going thru a daily Joyce Meyer devotional on my Bible app. It's been really encouraging. So I was extremely pleased to read that she had launched her own iPhone app.
It was quickly downloaded on my phone & on my drive to work each morning for the past 2-3weeks I've been listening to her radio broadcasts. I use the term "radio" loosely as they're more like 15min snippets of her events broken up in to 5 sections for the week. A much better way to spend the drive in to the office.
This morning's section one part in particular jumped out at me....that we often times surrender to our circumstances & allow Satan to steal our joy, primarily because of pride or standing in a place of unforgiveness/un-resolved anger/an un-loving spirit. Let's talk about 2x4 to the face! Such a truthful statement -- spoken directly to my heart from the Lord.
My resolution: to surrender because Satan can't steal what isn't his to begin with. Joyce's statement ultimately was that circumstances shouldn't steal our joy. And thus - I have my first addition to my "dream" board at work.
I'm trying to think of other things to add, but it's hard to find things to add to a dream board...any one have any more suggestions???
Sidenote...absolutely adoring the beautiful weather here right now. And double bonus to life is that the 10-day forecast just boasts more & more sun! Summer is upon us here in the PNW thank goodness!
<3
This past weekend was full of good friends, good conversation, and rest.
Talk about wonderful weekend!
Random thought -- I finally drug my butt back to the gym last night. Let's just say I've been on a long hiatus from the gym. And I've found that I go in swings, crazy intense amount of time spent at the gym to virtually none. So I'm trying to find a good balance of my time and going to the gym. Finding things that I enjoy and challenge me -- but don't cause me to loathe going. Last night's event: yoga. Man, I haven't done yoga in FOREVER & I definitely wish I hadn't taken such a long break. My legs were SHAKING nearly the entire class...and is it ever hard to hold 3 legged dog when your leg is shaking like a leaf! All in all, I'm glad I went. I felt great after wards, felt calm & collected. Woke up this morning feeling rested.
Tonight's agenda: walking with my running buddies. I'm slowly finding things that are life giving rather than life taking/exhausting. The goal is to be happy, healthy, & confident. Definitely not looking to be a body builder or compete. I want to simply be happy in my own skin & most importantly be thankful that I have a working body to be able to do things!
But the biggest highlight of our weekend......
Meet our new little nephew Kapono!! Such a sweet heart already. Isaac's younger brother & his wife made their way in to the hospital early on Friday, and baby Kapono made his appearance late Friday night. Isaac has lovingly nicknamed the kiddo "Jar Jar" in honor of Star Wars Appreciation Day (think "May the 4th/force be with you!"). Not sure my sister-in-law is totally on board with that, nor am I....but the brothers seem to think it's hilarious. We've already got a trip in the works in mid-June to meet the little guy. But we can already tell he's gonna be a heart breaker.
This month is gonna be nutty -- so hopefully I can stay on top of my blogging, I've been slacking as of late...but it's worth it, so I'll do my best! :)
<3
I can breathe easily now! I took my real estate Broker's exam yesterday afternoon (after much anticipation/slight anxiety) and passed!!
Can't tell you how much of a relief that is -- and truthfully I have been delaying this moment for an extremely long time. Mostly because I dread taking tests. But with some preparation & lots of extra prayer from friends & family I passed!
ahhh.....breathing easy right now.... :)
<3
